


Summerblink

by Thomaddicted



Category: Sterek - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A Very Sterek Summer 2020, Alive Hale Family, And Music, Angst, Another Present Under The Tree, Backyard Camping, Boys Kissing, Cancer, Closeted Derek Hale, Cockblocking, Crushes, Dance parties, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Drinking Games, Emotional Baggage, Eternal Sterek, Flashbacks, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Jealous Derek, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Memories, Minor Character Death, More tags added as the story goes, Mutual Pining, Out Stiles Stilinski, Platonic Love to Romantic Love, Rain, Road Trips, Sexual Relationships, So much angst, Songfic, Stiles is a flirt, Summer Songs, The Hales are good parents, The Waves are a metaphor, There's Smut A-Comin', There's a playlist involved, beach resort, ice cream date, men kissing, normalize boys having crushes on other boys, one sided pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25543765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomaddicted/pseuds/Thomaddicted
Summary: Young Derek Hale first met Little Stiles Stilinski 15 years ago on the beach, at the Hale family resort. For five summers, they were friends. Then one day, they weren't.Ten years later, The Stilisnkis have returned, and with it, an entire host of unanswered questions and unresolved (If not a bit uncomfortable) feelings that seemed inappropriate then, but are resolvable now.The story is in present time, with flashbacks that I have hopefully made clear, but if not, let me know in the comments because it's going to be part of the story structure.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Braden (past), Derek Hale/Deucalion (Past), Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Vernon Boyd (Past), Stiles Stilinski/Lydia Martin (past), Stiles Stilinski/Scott McCall (Past)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 98
Collections: A Very Sterek Summer fest 2020, Another Present Under the Tree





	1. 72 and Sunny

**Author's Note:**

> Created for both A Very Sterek Summer, and Another Present Under The Tree
> 
> There is a playlist of some of my favorite songs that inspired the writing and mood of this fic, and it can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-h2mS1x_ds&list=PLxpZ4PvYrFj1Yex0KNzuDvXECnFgnl7ks&index=1
> 
> The title of the fic comes from a song by the Cocteau Twins, and is one of my all time favorite songs. 
> 
> Summer is an interesting time of year for me. It holds an odd place for me, because the weather is amazing, but there's a lot of immediate sadness that I associate with summer, and I knew that if I wrote this it would be meaty, angsty, and extremely bittersweet. So if you're looking for a fun, sexy summer read, this will have those moments, just know that you'll be dealing with a lot of sad shit in there as well. 
> 
> I recommend starting the playlist as you start the story. Both can be enjoyed on their own, but all the songs influenced scenes, and you'll see where.

Summer mornings start early at the Crescent Moon Bay Beach in Southern California. The sun is usually breaking the horizon before 5AM, turning the sky pink with the promise of a new day. 

Derek Hale starts the day with a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, same as he has since he was ten years old. 12 years later, a lifetime of sensible eating, as well as a life surfing, swimming and playing hard on the beach has given him the typical California bod. Sun kissed skin that is golden, but not leathery, hair softened by the salt and wind, and muscles that have muscles, Derek Hale is what people think of when they think of a California Hunk. 

The Hale family have run the “Wolf’s Beach Resort” for longer than Derek has been alive, and it has grown from just a small waystop near the beach, to a twenty bungalow resort, complete with a tennis court, pool and playground, to the resort’s biggest acquisition ten years ago, the surrounding woodlands that bordered the Northeast end of the beach, allowing for expansion into campgrounds, which were often being looked after by his sister Laura, and his father, Jacob. On the beachfront, Derek’s mother, Talia, ran the campus with an iron paw… er, fist. Usually bringing up the rear and helping their mother was Derek’s youngest sister, Cora.   
That Derek was in the traditional trouble spot of the “middle child”, was alleviated by the fact that he was the only Hale son, which brought with it some expectations, but for the most part was a semi charmed life. Laura was clearly being groomed to take over the family business, and Derek was content just overseeing the grounds, which he really loved to do being an outdoorsy kind of guy. That’s how he grew up, and he would often joke, that’s how he would die. 

After morning breakfast, Derek would get into his unofficial uniform for the day, which was a short sleeved woven shirt with bamboo buttons and the resort logo on the back (a wolf on the beach howling at a crescent moon), and a pair of boardshorts which often looked amazing when settled on Derek’s muscled backside. Early mornings were often easy, which Derek appreciated. The usual docket included saying "Good Morning" to a few people doing their morning run on the beach, or usually chiding someone for walking their dog without a leash and making sure the pup left no leavings on the sands. There were many things you want to find on the beach, but dog poop was not one of them.

This morning had been perfect, like most California summers are, 72 and sunny by 7AM. The sun broke the skyline in pinks and pearl blues, and the surfers were out, taking advantage of the early morning waves, like always. One of them was a newcomer, an older man Derek was not familiar with and he was familiar with almost every surfer on the West Coast. The surfer was an older man, who looked like he’d had his toes on the nose for most of his life. Derek stood on the beach, watching as the older man handled some tricky waves, showing off his impressive stamina. Derek folded his arms and watched as the older man kept up with guys that looked to be half, if not a third his age. Impressive, old man.

“He’s really something, isn’t he?” A voice came from behind Derek, warm as the summer sun itself, with a touch of pride in the tone. “Yeah. Best I’ve seen in a long time.” Derek nodded, turning around, taking in the sight of the guy standing behind him. The guy was tall, almost as tall as Derek, with long shaggy brown hair that reached about down to his shoulders. His skin was pale, but not sickly, and said skin was sprinkled with a constellation of beauty marks, trailing up his arms, and neck, visible outside the black and grey striped tank top the guy wore. Dots punctuated the rosy cheeks of this newcomer, who had a very sweet looking mouth, rose red and shaped like a cupid’s bow, set under a perfectly formed, slightly upturned nose. Those lips broke into a smirk, then a smile, which went all the way up to the eyes, which left Derek speechless. Golden hour, and morning light are the most magical times to see someone, because of how the light highlights them. These eyes Derek was looking into were whiskey brown, flecked with golden amber hints in the irises, brought to the forefront by the early morning glow. Derek felt his mouth go dry. 

Only one person in his life ever had eyes like that. 

(Then)

“What’s the matter, kid?” 

Derek crouched down, next to a boy who was crying, a few piles of sand in front of him, and a bucket with a broken handle nearby. 

“Some guys came an’ kicked my castle. They…” here, the boy hiccuped, then wiped his eyes, “they broke my bucket.” The kid pouted hard, and Derek felt so badly for the boy. Beach bullies happened at every age, and it looked like this kid was all alone. Even at age 10, Derek had a great sense of right and wrong, and always wanted to be of help. 

“It’s okay, little guy.” Derek reached out, patting the boy’s pale shoulder. “Let me see that bucket.” 

The boy handed Derek the little red bucket with a yellow handle, shaped like a line of stars. The handle was just unhooked from the side of the pail and was an easy fix. Derek snapped the handle back into place, making sure it was secure before he held it out to the boy. “See. Good as new.” A smile spread across the boy’s face, and he beamed. 

“Thank you!” The boy grinned, hugging his bucket. 

Derek smiled and stood, ready to walk away. The boy looked up at him hopefully. “Do you wanna help me build a sand castle?” The boy looked up at him with the most amazing eyes Derek had ever seen. At that age Derek had no words to describe them then, but now, he had words for them. Remembering that morning in the sand, Derek could safely say that those eyes changed something inside of him that day. 

Derek met the boy’s eyes and smiled, and that smile made the bucket boy’s smile spread wider with happiness. “Sure, kid. What’s your name?” 

(Now)

“Stiles?” The name is almost whispered on Derek’s lips, before he has the breath to say it again. “Stiles?”

The teen nods, his smile almost too big for his face. A soft pink tongue licks the red lips before speaking. “Derek Hale.” Stiles answers in response, looking like he wants to hug Derek, but there is something is holding him back. Before Derek thinks that maybe he should hug Stiles, the moment has passed, and Derek hates himself for missing it. 

“How… how could you tell it was me?” Derek grinned. The sun has started to crest a bit more, and Derek isn’t sure if the temperature rising, or his nervousness is causing him to break into a sweat now. 

The soft smile on Stiles’ lips parts and he feels like something is happening here. “It’s… your eyes.” Stiles blinks, and his eyes focus downward for a few seconds. “And your smile. Your smile is the same, after all these years.”   
Derek scratches the back of his neck, looks down and feels himself flushing. This feels so weird, and so not fair. 

“It’s been a long time.” Derek nods, looking away. 

“Ten years.” Stiles says, quickly adding, “You know, not that I keep track on a calendar or anything.”

“No.” Derek says, shaking his head. “I mean, it just… it feels like it’s been that long.” 

Stiles walks up to the shoreline, watching his Dad take on the waves. He folds his arms over his chest and stares out into the waves proudly. “He’s really something, huh?” 

“He coulda been a pro at that.” Derek says, walking up, next to Stiles, somehow nervous that he is standing next to the teen, instead of in front of him, and what is wrong with him today…?

“And your mom?” Derek asks, looking around for Claudia Stilinski.

Stiles sighs, and there’s a sad look on his face that passes quickly, like a cloud, but is gone soon after. “She passed away. Around 10 years ago.” Stiles swallows and blinks, staring out into the sea. Derek feels like he’s been punched in the gut, and immediately stammers. “Oh, Stiles. I’m… I’m so sorry.” 

Stiles closes his eyes and nods. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.” Taking a breath, Stiles looks out onto the water, not focused on anything. He looks like he wants to say something but clears his throat instead. “What about…. Is your family…. Okay?” 

Derek nods. “Yeah. All here, still. You know us, we’re gonna….” Derek stops because his usual line is super inappropriate in response to what Stiles has just shared with him, so he changes it mid-sentence “Be here forever.” Stiles looks at Derek and grins. Stiles’ face warms and he looks over at Derek with the kind of look that makes Derek’s innards warm and gooey. “Somehow, I think that’s the most comforting thing I’ve ever heard.” 

Derek invites Stiles to dinner that night, which Stiles accepts, and for the life of him, Derek can’t keep the knots out of his stomach. The entire day goes by, and he feels like all he can do is make it through. Talia notices the change immediately. “Derek, are you okay honey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Perfectly put, thought Derek as he stacked dishes for the lunchtime buffet. After a decade, Stiles is back in his life, and it’s not like it…. It doesn’t matter. They were kids. Literally kids. Get your shit together Derek.

“Have you seen the Stilinski’s are back?” Talia’s voice is coming from the inside of the storage closet where she keeps the linens and is grabbing stacks to lay out. “Stiles is so grown! I can barely believe it.” Derek nods, and counts the plates, making sure they have enough for the buffet cart, and begins to load the backup cart as well. 

“Yes. That’s called time passing.” Cora says, bringing in a tray of silverware, which she begins to sort into tall containers. “It’s how I managed not to stay a child.” 

Talia chuckles and emerges with stacks of linens, which she sets on a cart, dividing what needs to go where. “It’s been what, a dozen years or so?” 

“Ten.” Derek says, almost absently as he stacks the dishes, feeling the residual warmth from their last go through the dishwasher. “Ten years.” 

[Then]

“I’m Stiles.” The boy turns his bucket over, and frowns when the sand doesn’t hold its shape like he wants it to, and he sighs. 

“I have an idea.” Derek says. “Can I use this real quick?” He asks, his hand on Stiles bucket. Stiles nods and watches as Derek walks over to the shoreline and fills the bucket with saltwater. When he returns, Derek pours the water all over the sand, before mixing it all up with his hands. Stiles giggles and adds his hands to the mixing, and soon, Derek is filling the bucket with firmer, wetter sand. He gently pulls the bucket away, and Stiles eyes are wide with wonder as the sand stays in form, in the center of the other piles. 

“Tah-dah!” Derek looks over at Stiles who is beaming. “Thank you Derek, it’s perfect!” 

“What do you say we do that again, and make a real fortress?” Derek suggests. Stiles grins and immediately begins to drop handfuls of wet sand into the bucket.

They work most of that morning, making a sandcastle with three turrets and a moat, which Derek fills with more water from the ocean. Stiles is absolutely thrilled, and as he puts the finishing touches on the castle, using some seashells they find each time they go for more water. Stiles leans his head on Derek a moment, staring at the castle. 

“What do you wanna build now, Derek?” 

[Now]

“Derek? Hello, Earth to Der Bear?” Laura’s voice shakes Derek out of his thoughts, and he looks at her as though he’s seeing her for the first time ever. “Wow. She must be some fox.” She cocks an eyebrow and smiles a crafty smile. 

“Who? No one’s a fox.” Derek tries to be smooth in his recovery, cause that’s not even where his mind was. Where was his mind? 

“Well, that’s a first.” Laura grins. She is in her bathing suit and a pair of tear-away pants, for her patrol on the beach. She is there to relieve Derek of his post, so that he can go get ready for dinner. Thankfully, everyone on the beach has been mellow, and Derek’s constant state of distraction has not allowed anyone to drown, or worse.

“Go on, get out of here.” Laura slaps his shoulder, and excuses Derek from his post, which she takes up with attention. It’s a short shift, mostly to make sure no one stays out in the surf past sundown, when they’re more likely to get attacked by a shark. 

Derek walks back to the compound, where his family stays on the property. On the way he passes families packing up, having had their fill of sun, surf and sand for the day. 

In them, Derek saw ghosts of the past, of the numerous families that had come to spend their time at the Hale’s resort. Families with lots of kids, families with grown kids. Parents and partners with children, which when he was younger, Derek couldn’t really fathom. As an adult, it impressed him to see so many families now, of so many forms, that came to find their fun and create memories at the Wolf's Beach. 

Derek let his mind coast back to those younger years, and he saw in his minds eye a woman with mahogany brown hair and eyes, wrapped in a sundress, walking out to the water, and soon his thoughts returned to 

[Then]

“Stiles?” The woman asks with a chuckle in her voice. “Wow! Did you do all of this, champ?” 

Stiles looks up at the woman and shakes his head. “No. Derek helped me.” At that, Stiles turned his eyes to Derek, and looked at him with such a warm look that it made Derek giggle. “Hello.” He waved to the older woman. She smiled back at him, and quickly mouthed out “Thank you” to him while Stiles wasn’t looking. 

“He’s such a nice boy for helping you.” Claudia Stilinski crouches next to the castle and seems genuinely impressed. “That’s so pretty, the way you decorated with those seashells, oh, and there’s a moat too! Wow!” Derek blushed at the praise, even though he knew it was for Stiles. 

“That was Derek’s idea.” Stiles turned those hero worship eyes on Derek again. “He’s smart, and he fixed my bucket for me!” Stiles held up the red pail, which was now crusted with sand. It had seen a lot of work done today. “Oh, how nice of him!” Claudia beamed. “Did you tell him thank you, Stiles?” 

Stiles nodded, and chirp out. “Yeah, he’s my hero!” 

Derek turned a bit red at that. But what are you gonna do when a kid calls you their hero?

“It’s about time to get out of this sun, you’re starting to get red my little lobster man!” Claudia scooped Stiles up into her arms and looked at Derek. “Would you like to join us for a bottle of water, and maybe a snack?” Stiles looked at Derek and nodded, as if instructing him that’s what the correct answer is. 

Derek grabbed Stiles bucket and nodded. “Thank you, yes, I will.” 

They made it back to the blankets, where the Stilinski’s had set up their spot for the day. There were three large umbrellas to give them shade from the strong California sun, and a cooler sat nearby. A radio sat nearby, playing some soothing music to lounge by.

_“Summertime, and the living is easyyyyy…. Fish are jumpiiiinnnnng, and the cotton is hiiiiiiggghhhhhh.”_

__“Mama likes to listen to old people music.” Stiles stage whispered to Derek, who broke out into a grin._ _

__“You laugh at it now, Mischief, but someday you’re gonna love these songs.” Claudia said, with almost a sad look on her face._ _

__“Now, who wants a Capri Sun?”_ _

__

__[Now]_ _

__

__Derek brushed his feet off before stepping into his bungalow. He had the only single, Laura and Cora shared their own, as did his parents. Derek loved that he had his own space, and he thought of it as his den, his own private oasis, where he was able to be himself. Where he was allowed to be himself._ _

__Stripping down to his skin, Derek checked the time. He had an hour to get ready, and he was going to meet Stiles and John Stilinski in the dining room._ _

__Derek turned on the shower, and set the water, taking a moment to check himself in the mirror before stepping in. He was doing a great job, showering, humming a song, and totally not thinking about the last time he had seen Stiles. That had been weird. Not weird in an uncomfortable way, just weird in a way that had left him confused, because_ _

__

__[Then]_ _

__

__“Derek?”_ _

__Stiles’ voice is a little unsteady and Stiles doesn’t look upset, but he doesn’t quite look the same._ _

__Derek doesn’t know why, all he’s doing is talking with his best friend Boyd, who had come to help out for that summer. It had turned out to be a pretty eventful summer at that, because Boyd and Derek… well, Derek figured out why he was not as interested in girls as any fifteen year old boy would be._ _

__They’re sitting out in the lifeguard station, and Derek has snuck them out a couple of beers, which is a big deal to them, and Derek feels himself flush with a mix of fear and shame when he turns to find Stiles watching them. He doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he’s afraid that Stiles, now twelve, is going to rat on them. But Derek trusts Stiles not to, because when you’re friends with someone for five summers, you just don’t do that._ _

__“Hey Stiles.” Derek says, quickly hiding his beer behind himself. He sees Stiles’ eyes flick from Derek’s hand behind his back, to Boyd, who is sitting there looking innocent, then back to Derek. Stiles eyes graze over Derek’s bare chest, to the curve of Derek’s neck, and Derek is hoping to all that exists that Boyd hadn’t left any hickeys on him. No visible markings, that had been one of their rules._ _

__“Sorry.” Stiles says, looking a little panicked. “I just… I… I should go.” Stiles hooked his thumb over his shoulder, looking at Boyd, this time with something that resembles anger. He turns and walks away. Derek looks back at Boyd who looks like he’s amused, then sets his beer down on the lifeguard tower, before going after Stiles._ _

__The beach is closed, only they are out there now, far out from the lifeguard stand where Boyd is now sitting, watching the water._ _

__“What’s up little guy?” Derek asks, and Stiles doesn’t turn around. “Nothing.” Stiles says, looking out at the water. “I just… I kinda wanted to hang out with you, but, you’re with Boyd.”_ _

__“I am.” Derek sighs. He knows he won’t ask Stiles to hang out with them, because if anyone where to bust them, Derek’s parents would be pissed at just them, but having a preteen Stiles there with open cans of beer would not look good, especially since the boy’s father is in law enforcement._ _

__“Maybe we can hang out later.” Derek nudges Stiles, who looks sideways at Derek, still not quite meeting his eyes. Stiles’ face looks so strange in this sunset, his eyes a little sadder, his smile not quite there despite being on his face. Derek looks back to make sure Boyd is still there. He can feel himself getting nervous because in a few days, Boyd will be gone back to his own life, and Derek honestly doesn’t know if he’ll see him again next summer._ _

__“I’ll come look for you tomorrow.” Derek says, rubbing Stiles’ shoulder. “Promise.”_ _

__“Sure, Derek.” Stiles says, nodding. Derek turns around and scrambles back over the sand to Boyd, feeling like he’s still being watched, but when he turn back to look at Stiles, all he sees is the boy walking, head down, off into the sunset._ _

__

__The next day, Derek goes to find Stiles on the beach, but doesn’t see him anywhere, He isn’t in the place the family always sets up when they come to visit in the summer. Stiles’ dad isn’t out surfing, and Claudia is not to be found. He stops by the Stilinski cabin, and finds it empty, and cleaned. They’re gone. Stiles is gone._ _

__“They just checked out this morning.” Talia Hale confirms with Derek as he looks over the guestbook. “Didn’t Stiles tell you goodbye? He was looking for you last night.”_ _

__Derek feels a stabby, ugly, unhappy twist in his stomach, as he puts on his “Everything will be all right” face that he’s learned to perfect with guests, and occasionally his own family._ _

__“He didn’t say goodbye.” Derek says, leaving it at exactly that before turning around and heading back out to the beach. He won’t see Stiles again for ten years, and sadly, lets the teen fade from his memory._ _

__

__[Now]_ _

__

__Derek wipes the steam off his bathroom mirror and checks to see if he needs a shave. He doesn’t, but does a bit of grooming, making sure his brows and nose hairs are trimmed and even. He thinks of Boyd again. The last time he had seen that handsome man was a couple of years ago. He had come to the resort with his new bride, Erica, and their daughter, Elizabeth, and they looked like such a perfect family that Derek hardly had the heart to approach them, although Talia recognized Boyd immediately and hugged him for a good minute before gushing over his new life._ _

__Boyd looked at Derek, smiled and hugged him, but neither guy seemed keen to relive what Derek realized must have been an experimental past. It was fine. Derek was fine. He was a lone wolf. He was fine. A lone wolf is fine._ _

__Checking the time, he quickly dressed in a pair of linen pants, and a white cotton tank, which he covered with another shirt. It was a green print with palm trees that brought out his eyes, and everyone always said it looked great on him. He combed his hair and slipped into a pair of beach shoes that were comfortable, before looking at his cologne. This was where he paused because he wasn’t sure if he should wear some. Cause really, this was just a dinner between friends. Old friends that hadn’t seen each other in ages. Old friends who just kinda pulled the plug on each other. Not that it was a gigantic deal, they were friends. Kids, really. Just some stupid kids that were friends because… because that's what happens when you're a kid. You make friends that you don't keep, no matter what kind of mark they leave on you. Because._ _

__Because reasons. Derek gruffly thought. He left the cologne alone and opted to wear a necklace that he’d had in his drawer for ages. He doesn’t remember where he got it, only that it had been there in his room one day, and he figured his mom or sister had gotten it for him, because they said that he was handsome, but that he should also think about accessorizing, which made no sense to him._ _

__He had only worn it a few times, and he had to admit, the glossy white shell, on a black rawhide loop did give him a more rugged, handsome look. He just didn’t wear it often cause it felt like something special._ _

__Derek looked at the clock. Shit. Now he was going to be late. Growling, and gritting his teeth, he fastened the necklace to himself, and strode out the door, headed for the dining hall._ _


	2. Underneath The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Stiles catch up, and Derek finds out some interesting (and heartbreaking) information. 
> 
> Cora helps them all remember a time when Derek pulled out all the stops for her and Stiles (but mostly Stiles)
> 
> And it does end happily, for now.
> 
> Playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxpZ4PvYrFj1Yex0KNzuDvXECnFgnl7ks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, Angst, and ANGST! With a side of Angst, and would you like some angst to wash that down with? Ice, or no ice?
> 
> Honestly, this chapter has the worst of the heartbreak stuff, and there's a trigger warning for dealing with cancer, also, teen Derek has sex with teen Boyd at the beginning of this but it's not especially graphic. If that's a problem, just skip it. 
> 
> For those following with the playlist, the following songs color this chapter:  
> "A Sorta Fairytale" - Tori Amos,  
> "In The Summer Time" - Mungo Jerry  
> "Summer" - Spencer Day  
> "All Would Envy" Chris Botti featuring Shawn Colvin  
> "Underneath The Stars" - Mariah Carey

The first thing that Derek notices, going into the dining hall, is that his parents are sitting with John Stilinski. Stiles is no where to be seen, but the adults at their table are having a great time over a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, the dinner for tonight. There is an unexplained moment of panic as Derek looks at the table, and there is no Stiles, and he remembers

[Then]

the first thing he did was go to find Boyd, because that was the hour Boyd was on his break, and Derek is upset, but he really can’t explain why. Is he upset because Stiles left without even saying goodbye? Is he upset because instead of hanging out last night with Stiles, he had sex with Boyd instead, knowing it would be a several more days where he would be seeing Boyd before the season was over? Why was he so bothered behind all of this?  
Boyd is sitting in the guest bungalow, which is being shared between Boyd, and two other guys helping them out this year, Danny Mahealani, and Jackson Whittemore. Truth be told, Jackson spends more time working on his tan than he does working on the campus, and oddly enough, he is not at all comfortable going into the water. Danny is more of a help there, his tall, lanky body looks like is was sculpted from the finest bronze, and he always has this mischievous smirk on his face that Derek would be happy to ride if he wasn’t trying to be with Boyd. 

Speaking of whom, Boyd is laying on his bed, reading a magazine when Derek walks in. The look on Derek’s face must be severe because Boyd immediately puts the rag down, and Derek crawls onto the bed, kissing him. Boyd doesn’t really like kissing. He’ll do it every once in a while, and Derek needs that time to be now, and Boyd allows it, letting Derek kiss him. Danny and Jackson are on shift, and not scheduled off for at least two hours. 

Derek makes it quick, giving Boyd a blowjob before straddling the guys’ strong waist and sinking down onto Boyd’s thickness. Derek lets himself be full, be filled, and begs for more, crying out when Boyd flips him over, and drives him into the mattress. This is how it happens for them. They don’t really talk during sex, there’s just some sort of primal attraction that takes them, and they let themselves be taken, swept up in the kind of lust that only exists in the young and the stupid.

Boyd is in control here, and Derek needs more, and asks for more. Boyd gasps and moans, emptying his balls into Derek’s ass. Derek smiles as Boyd grinds into him, as if staking a claim. Derek doesn’t realize it until after, but he’d cried a bit. 

“Did I hurt you?” Boyd asks, scared. “No.” Derek covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. “No. It… just felt really good this time.” Derek pants as he comes down from his orgasm, his belly covered in his own come. Boyd grabs a towel and hands it to Derek, who wipes himself off. “Don’t do that again like that, dude.” Boyd scolds. “One of the guys could have walked in.” 

Derek finishes wiping and gets his clothes back on. He doesn’t really care, not right now. It doesn’t matter, he feels better anyway. 

Derek will feel better again, and again. With whomever is helping what season, who can keep their mouths shut about railing the owner’s son. One year later, that will be Danny, another will be Jackson, then later it’s a much older man named Duke, whom Derek kinda falls in love with and of course that was a big fucking mistake and for three weeks after the season Derek was in tears and he had no idea why he

[Now]

“Derek?” Stiles voice is kind, and curious, and Derek starts like someone had just slapped him. 

“Stiles! Hey little guy!” The words seem to unearth themselves from underneath the seventh layer of whatever topsoil Derek had buried it under in the past decade, and hearing it makes Stiles’ eyebrows rise up in surprise. 

“Wow. I haven’t heard that nickname in at least ten years.” Stiles grins, and softly arcs his arm out wide, giving Derek a soft punch in the shoulder. “You’ve been standing here staring in a trance for fifteen minutes. I almost called a paramedic out. Come on, we have a seat here for you.” 

Dinner turns out to be a rather pleasant affair. Apparently, Stiles had just graduated college, and is taking a break before taking courses to earn his teaching credentials. John is waiting to hear from the board of directors at the Sheriff’s department, to see if he’ll be made Sheriff this year. 

“That’s really exciting!” Talia exclaims. 

“If it happens.” John said. “I’ve been in line for that promotion before, and it’s never gone my way. If I don’t get it this year, I may just transfer precincts.”

“You could always come work for us.” Derek’s dad offers. “We could use a head of Security. Derek could be your deputy.” 

Derek notices the way Stiles’ eyes smile as he watches the conversation go back and forth. Only now, as a grown up, he is very changed. Gone are the endless outbursts of questions and interjections. He seems less excited to be part of the conversation, and just seems to be content sitting back and observing. 

“That’s kind of you, Jacob, thank you for the offer.” John nods. “I’m afraid if I did come work here, all I would do is surf the day away. Mornings at least.”

“We wouldn’t mind the help. Ever since we annexed that forest property for campers and such, we need a little more coverage.” 

“Really?” Stiles asked, his eyebrows raised. “That’s awesome.”

Talia rubs Stiles’ shoulder in a very motherly way. “I remember you always wanted to go camping here so badly, but we never had the area for it.” 

Stiles nods and says nothing, but his eyes find Derek’s for a moment. They sparkle as if he’s remembering something pleasing. 

“But we did get to go camping!” Cora points out, joining in for a quick moment. “Stiles was bummed that we were never able to go camping so Derek, and I don’t know where he found everything, but he set up a campground on the patio of mom and dad’s place.” 

Talia’s eyes brighten. “That’s right! I forgot all about that. He lined the entire area with mosquito netting so that you guys could sleep out there. He even hung up some glow in the dark stars that he’d never put up in his room out on strings, and…”

[Then]

“Derek! Wow! It’s SO COOL back here!” Stiles practically squeals with joy. He is ten, and gets overly excited about everything, but this is something to get overly excited about! 

The entire back porch is lined with mosquito netting, and there are glow in the dark stars hanging up in some places. There are two coolers for drinks and snacks, even though they are mere feet from the kitchen inside the bungalow. There are sleeping bags, pillows and blankets out there for Derek, Cora and Stiles, and there’s even a fake firepit, made of a bunch of battery powered candles in a ring. 

“And, all the luxuries of home.” Derek says, proudly, showing off a small table where the old TV from his room is set up, and hooked up to a DVD player. “We can watch movies and everything.” 

Stiles is beaming from ear to ear, and he hugs Derek tightly in thanks, and Derek doesn’t think he’s ever seen Stiles happier. 

Cora and Stiles spend some of the time playing “Go Fish”, while Derek does crossword puzzles. Talia comes by with Claudia to check on the kids. Claudia is particularly impressed with the lengths Derek has gone to take Stiles “camping”. Derek looks up at her a moment, as she watches Stiles playing with Cora, and just generally happy. She looks at Derek with a proud smile, and a twinkle in her eyes that lets Derek know he's done good, then wipes a tear away before disappearing into the house. 

Derek and Stiles hang out, playing round after round of Uno, with Cora coming in and out of the game, sometimes taking a break to color or just watch the guys play. 

That night, the sun sets, lighting the sky up as though it were on fire. They make S’mores, carefully using a live candle that only Derek is allowed to use. At 13, he is happy to be trusted with this, and he really enjoys that Cora and Stiles look up to him, the way he looked up to his own sister Laura, who is almost 4 years older than he. 

They eat the sweet treats, and watch Disney movies in the near dark of the quiet beach. The glow in the dark stars that had been collecting light all day glow softly around the patio, and Stiles uses his finger to trace patterns between the luminescent disks, creating constellations. 

Alice is in Wonderland, and the Walrus and the Carpenter have eaten all the little oysters, and Stiles giggles out “The time has come!” when the Walrus runs, erupting into peals of laughter. Cora is on one side of Derek leaning on him, and Stiles notices, so he decides to get comfortable, and pretends to fluff Derek up like a pillow, before laying his head on Derek’s shoulder, while they watch the most insane tea party take place.

Sometime in the second half of Aladdin, just after Jasmine and Aladdin sing “A Whole New World”, Derek hears the sounds of soft snoring. Cora is out, already having curled up in her sleeping bag. The beach can get cold, even on a summer night, so it’s no surprise that Stiles has curled tighter into Derek’s side, and is asleep with his head on Derek’s chest. 

Derek carefully shifts Stiles over, and gently lays him in his sleeping bag. Derek shuts off the movie, and gets into his own sleeping bag, before laying his head down. The soft crash of the waves lulls Derek to sleep, but before he crashes out, he hears Stiles’ voice, softly, almost like he’s telling a secret. 

“Derek. Thank you. You’re the best.”

[Now]

After dessert, the grown ups all pick up and head out to the patio bar, and even though both Derek and Stiles are drinking age, they do not follow them. “I’m just gonna stay here and have another cup.” Derek said, raising his coffee mug. “Same.” Stiles said, waving goodbye to the group as they head outside. 

The dining room is already closed for the night, and the crew has cleared everything. Cora asks Derek if he wouldn’t mind locking up once she leaves, and he agrees, grabbing another coffee pot from the kitchen before she turns off the lights. 

The running lights in the kitchen and main room are on, giving the dining room a golden glow. The large bay windows offer a view of the ocean, though nothing can really be seen but the pitch blackness outside. Still, it’s nice to be here in the now quiet space with Stiles, and Derek finds himself not nearly as nervous as he thought he would. 

“I think its awesome, you wanting to be a teacher.” Derek says, sipping his coffee. Stiles nods. “Yeah, I know it’s kind of a tough road to travel, teacher’s not getting paid a huge amount, but I kinda discovered it was my passion in college.” 

“That’s wonderful. What are you focusing on?” 

“I’m going to be teaching Elementary school, probably fourth grade.” 

Derek nodded. “That’s pretty awesome.” 

“Yeah.” Stiles grinned. “I really…” 

There’s a heavy pause and Derek can see Stiles looking for words. “I really just kinda wanted to honor my mom. She loved being a teacher. She had so much patience with me, even with me having no attention span in school.” A light sheen coats Stiles’ eyes and Derek reaches his hand out, covering one of Stiles’ idle hands on the table.

“I was really sorry to hear about Claudia. She was a wonderful woman.” 

Tears roll down Stiles’ cheeks, and he swipes them with his thumb. “Thank you.” 

Stiles clears his throat. “She liked you. She was so happy that I had a friend at the resort, so that every year we came, I would have someone I knew I could play with, hang out with.” 

Derek feels himself smile. “I always looked forward to seeing you guys. Then…” Derek pauses, and feels a funny, cold chill run though him. “You guys just stopped coming.” 

Stiles nodded. “Mom had to start chemo again right away, that last summer we saw each other.” Stiles draws his hand back away from Derek, and a glint of something flashes in his eye, but it leaves just as quickly as it came.  
“The doctors were worried at the last test results and they called us in, and they wanted her to start right away.” 

Derek nodded. Stiles continued.

“And it was pretty constant. She would do chemo and be fine. She’d work some, then every couple of months it would come back as something else. First it was breast cancer, then it was uterine cancer, and then it was stomach cancer, and then finally when it was in her brain, and they started using the word ‘inoperable’, well, that was about it.”

A tear escapes Stiles’ eye, and he doesn’t bother to wipe it. “So it was her time, and it genuinely sucked, because it took her slowly. I hated it. My dad was wrecked. He took a leave of absence from work, and I basically became his caretaker, after mom died. It was a really dark time. He didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything. I thought he was going to die from grief, so I did everything I could to help him find himself again.” 

Derek feels his heart break, and he notices that Stiles has folded his arms across his chest, holding himself, and all Derek can picture is twelve year old Stiles being the man of the house. Cooking and cleaning and taking care of his dad. Who did Stiles have, when all this was going on? Derek feels his guts twist again, and he gets up and sits next to Stiles, who goes on like none of this was a big deal. 

“Which is why we never came back.” Stiles said, suddenly getting up, and walking to the window, staring out into nothing. “There really wasn’t a point, and every single thing here would just have reminded us of her. Reminded me of something that I could never have. So, we never came back.” 

Stiles continues to stare out the window, and Derek gets up again. He approaches Stiles, carefully. Why he feels so scared is beyond him now, he just wants to comfort Stiles. It seems Stiles wants to avoid that. 

“I’m sorry.” Derek says, cause he feels like he can say nothing else. “I wish…” 

Stiles looks at Derek, tear tracks down his cheeks, his amber eyes wounded. 

“I wish too Derek. It fucking sucks to wish.” 

Derek chances it, and walks up to Stiles, standing next to him. He places a hand on Stiles’ shoulder, and feels Stiles tense a bit. 

“That whole year sucked.” Stiles says, voice straining with emotion. “It felt like, I don’t know. Like I was being punished for something I had zero control over.” 

Derek puts his arm around Stiles, and finally feels Stiles relax into the touch. “You should be proud of who you turned out to be.” 

At this Stiles pulled away. “Dude, you don’t even know me.” Derek felt like Stiles had socked him in the jaw. “If I were all that great, I’d be worth sticking around for, and people don’t tend to do that for me. Either that, or I push them away, cause I know eventually that’s what they’re gonna do to me, and I am tired of being left for something else.” 

Derek stayed feet away from Stiles now, who had turned red, and again had tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Stiles dipped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just, being back here has kinda been stirring up all these emotions I thought I left here years ago.” 

Stiles walked over to the table, and downed the rest of his cold coffee, and walked the mug over to the sink. “I’m going to join our parents for a drink now, if they’re still out there. Thank you for the coffee.” 

Derek watched in silence as Stiles walked down the service hallway, and out the door.

“We were supposed to go camping, when Stiles was… twelve, thirteen? Somewhere in there.” 

Stiles is no where to be found, but John is there, knocking back whiskey sours, with Derek’s dad, both men looking pretty well into their cups. 

“But I tell you Jake, all Stiles wanted to ever do was come here in the summer, he loved it so.” John beamed, his face shiny. Derek ordered a whiskey neat from the bartender and joined the men. “After Claudia died, well, Stiles wanted to come back so badly, he would cry but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring him here.” 

A sad tone coats John’s words. “Everything here, I mean, still, I can still feel her here. Is that weird?” John asks, leaning in, before continuing. 

“And when I told Stiles we were coming back this year he, he seemed happy at first, then he got sad, and I thought it was cause he had broken up with his girlfriend from college.” 

Derek sighed and sipped his whiskey. 

“Then I thought it was because he was sad because his old high school boyfriend was dating someone new and it was pretty serious.” 

Derek paused, his drink held up to his lips, still tingling from the sip of whiskey he’d just had, mind spinning from that last bit of info. 

“And I told Stiles, dude, you don’t need Scott to be happy. You guys are… you’re broken up, you can still be friends, I guess, I don’t know if that works, but shit, stop moping around so much.” 

Jake nodded in sympathy, taking a sip of his bourbon. 

“But I dunno. All I know is that Stiles seemed happy to be here this morning, and then, it was like, after I came back from surfing, he’s kinda been up and down.” 

Derek polished off his drink, and took his glass, as well as the eight (EIGHT?!) empty glasses from John and his dad back to the bar. 

So Stiles was gay. Maybe. John had mentioned a girlfriend in college. So, maybe Bi? Pan? Shit there were so many to keep up with, and it definitely did not make Derek as nervous as it made Derek. 

But maybe Stiles wasn’t gay? Well then why would he be hung up over this Scott guy, and why in the world would anyone turn down the chance to be with Stiles? Derek shook his head. The caffeine from the coffee and the alcohol from the whiskey were fighting each other, and Derek wasn’t sure what to do, so he ordered another, this time a double. 

Scanning the room, he saw no sign of Stiles, so he took his drink, and did a quick circuit of the room, spotting some of the seasonal regulars. Leaning over the balcony, overlooking the beach, Derek spotted Stiles on a patio, talking to one of this season’s attendants. 

The kid’s name was Mason, He was about Stiles’ height, and very, very cute, with a bright smile, and smooth dark skin. The Stiles he was talking to was not the Stiles that was in the dining room half an hour ago. This Stiles was animated, laughing, having fun. His eyes were clear, and you couldn’t tell he’d been crying. Mason was laughing at some story Stiles was telling, and Derek watched the interaction. A strange feeling pooled in his gut, and he sipped some more whiskey to calm it down. 

There was a moment where Mason laughed, and rested a hand on Stiles’ arm, and the hand traveled, intimately, towards Stiles’ hand. Derek felt sucker punched. He was jealous. He was JEALOUS that Mason was getting to interact with Stiles this way. There was no hesitation, no tears, just happy. 

Derek downed the rest of his drink and placed the glass on a busser’s tray before heading for the stairs leading down to the patio. 

“And then I said, ‘Rectum? I damn near killed him!” Stiles said, to great laughter from Mason, as Derek walked up to them. Mason glanced at Derek and then immediately looked at Stiles. “Hey, man. I hate to, but I have to go. I’m already past my curfew for tonight.” 

Stiles face falls. “Aw, come on, dude, we just got started.” 

Derek stands, his arms folded over his chest. “I’m sorry, Stiles, but rules are rules.” 

Stiles cut Derek a look and huffed, letting his hand linger on Mason’s shoulder before the young man left for the night. 

Derek suddenly found himself alone with Stiles, and he both was elated, and now, super nervous about that. 

“So do you always make a point to interrupt a perfectly fun evening?” Stiles folds his arms over his chest. 

“Hey, house rules. All attendants must obey curfew. Mason shouldn’t have even been out here this late anyway.” Derek said, taking a seat at the lone patio table and crossing his legs. Stiles watched him. 

“Our dads still at it?” Stiles waved upstairs. 

Derek nodded in. “I told the bartender to cut them off after the next one. Hopefully my Dad doesn’t override it.” 

Stiles shrugged. “My dad is a grown ass man. He can get drunk if he wants to. I don’t care.” 

“Something tells me you do care.” Derek says, feeling bold.

“No.” Stiles shrugs. “I’ve learned to let people to their own devices, they’re gonna just do what they want anyway.”

Derek’s brows shoot up. This is definitely not the Stiles he knew ten years ago. “Really?” 

“Yeah.” Stiles nods. “So I’ve learned the best way to cope is just not to care. I’m not responsible for anyone’s happiness. I can take or leave people whenever I want.”

“Liar.” The word comes out of Derek so quickly, he’s not even sure he said it until Stiles shoots him a look. 

“Well shit…” Stiles starts, then stops, staring at Derek’s neck. 

“What?” Derek asks, suddenly nervous again.

Stiles licks his lips, and his eyes soften for a moment before they get cold again. “I was just admiring your necklace.” 

Derek reaches up to his neckline. The necklace has emerged from where it had been tucked underneath his shirt and was now visible. His fingers traced the shape of the shell, feeling the smoothness under his fingertips. 

“Thank you.” Derek says. “I’ve had it for a long time.” 

Stiles nods. “I know.” He blinks a couple of times and turns away. “I’m the one that left it for you.” 

Derek is stunned, and feels like if he stands, he’ll fall over, watching Stiles walk away into the darkness, toward the beach. 

A piece of memory breaks free from Derek’s consciousness. He can’t remember where the necklace came from, just that it had always been there. It was in a box, from their gift shop, a gold crescent moon on the box, tied with a red ribbon. Derek had always assumed that his mom or Laura had given it to him. He’d tucked it into a drawer and forgotten all about it 

(Just like you forgot about Stiles)

and had only started wearing it a few years ago cause he wanted to look handsome or 

(cute… Duke said I looked so cute when I wore it…) 

attractive for Duke when they would go out because he was finally old enough to go out and not feel like 

(you were hiding it from everyone because you were so afraid that if anyone found out) 

some stupid kid. Like Stiles must have felt all those years ago when he maybe was going to give it to Derek that night

(I’m the one that left it for you)

Holy shit.

Derek awkwardly walked fast across the loose sand, in the dark, trying to catch up to Stiles. He thought about that last night, so many years ago. He struggled to remember Stiles from that night and tried to remember if he’d been holding anything in his hands, or in a pocket.

When Derek finally set eyes on Stiles now, it was closer to the beach. “Stiles, wait!” Derek called out, but Stiles didn’t look behind himself. He kept his pace, and Derek ran up to him, finally catching up, and moving around so that he was in front of Stiles, who was stone faced.

“I’m sorry.” Derek says, feeling like absolute shit. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stop and talk to you that night. I… It was real selfish of me, thinking… I mean, the next day, when I went to go look for you, and I did, you were gone.” 

Stiles finally looked at Derek. His eyes were watery with unshed tears. “I felt so fucking stupid.” Stiles waves his hand around. “I mean, I had a crush on you. I was a stupid little kid, with a crush on some fucking teenage dream.” Stiles wipes his eyes. “I didn’t know what to do with all those feelings.” 

Derek sighed, his hand now clasping the necklace like a talisman. “Stiles. You were a kid. It wasn’t like anything was going to happen.” 

“So you’ve never had a crush? Never been in puppy love?” 

Derek sighed. “That’s not the point.” 

“What is the point, Derek? I really needed to talk to someone that day, and you were out getting drunk with your boyfriend…”

“He wasn’t my boyfriend.”

“Getting drunk with your fuckbuddy.” Stiles snapped. “And I was just told that my mom’s cancer had come back as inoperable, and I’m about to lose my mom, and I just needed….” Stiles’ voice hitched with emotion, and Derek felt himself ache at the sound of it.

“I needed you. And you weren’t there. And you had always been there. You’d always been there for me, and I…” Stiles covered his hand with his mouth, holding in a sob, and Derek hugged Stiles. The sense of relief when Stiles arms embraced him was immense and he held Stiles as the guy cried in his arms. Stiles sobbed so hard Derek was afraid that he would break. Carefully, lovingly, Derek let his hands rub Stiles back, trying to calm him, wishing there were something more that he could do. 

They stood there, the sound of the surf soothing them. Stiles eventually stopped crying, and just let himself be held by Derek. Holding Stiles in his arms seemed so natural to Derek, and it felt right in a way that few things ever did in his life. He let his nose bury into Stiles’ hair, the thick dark locks scented the way Stiles had always smelled, just a little stronger now. 

“Sorry. For all of that.” Stiles’ voice is soft, ashamed. “I really just…” He sighed. “I guess I just got tired of carrying all of that around with me.” Derek pulled away. “Do you feel better, though?” He asked. Stiles eyes were dark in the night, catching what little light could be found out here away from the clubhouse. 

“I do.” Stiles nodded. 

“It’s late.” Derek said, stroking Stiles hair. “Let me walk you back to your bungalow.” 

They walked along the sand, saying nothing but still taking comfort in each other’s presence. Derek took Stiles by the hand. “If I could go back to that night, and change….” 

“It’s fine, Derek.” Stiles sighed. “It’s probably better that you didn’t. I might have made things weird.” Stiles looked over at Derek. “Like, super weird. I was a pre-teen with a crush the size of South America on you. I know I would have done something or said something stupid.”

Derek nodded. “I wasn’t much better. I’m only a few years older than you, I was already doing stupid shit I would come to regret.”

Stiles nodded in agreement. “Three years doesn’t seem like a lot, but, when you’re that young, it’s like decades of difference.” 

Derek chuckled. “It is. I mean, I’ve always kinda thought of you like a little brother.” 

Stiles groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“What?” Derek asked, with a chuckle. 

“Nothing.” Stiles shook his head, gesturing ahead of them. “Here I am.” 

They were standing in front of the Stilinski’s bungalow. It was not the usual one they stayed in over the years, and Derek decided that must have been a request. 

The light in the front was still on, and Derek could see Stiles better now. His eyes were a little red and swollen from the crying earlier, but his face was open again, no sign of the dark clouds that had been close by all night. In the light, he almost looked like Derek had remembered him, minus the buzz cut. Happy, carefree. Stiles.

“Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow?” Derek asked. Stiles shook his head. “No. We’re here for two weeks. Two whole weeks.” Stiles added on, weight on the last words. 

“Well, tomorrow being Saturday night, some friends of mine were going to have a party. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come along?” Derek asks, nervously. 

Stiles nods. “Sure. Sounds like it could be fun.” Stiles walks to the door, and before he could open it, Derek called out softly, “Stiles?” 

Stiles looked over his shoulder, his key in the lock. “Yeah, Big Guy?” 

Derek smiles at the nickname that he’d not heard Stiles use in a decade. It makes Derek happy.

“It’s so good to see you again.” Derek stares into Stiles’ eyes because he wants Stiles to know that he means every word. 

“It’s good to see you too, Big Guy.” Stiles grins, opening the door.

“And Stiles?” Derek adds, before Stiles goes inside.

“Yes, Der?” Stiles is grinning, almost laughing now.

Derek places his hand over the shell, dangling on the rawhide. “Thank you for this beautiful necklace.” 

Stiles face softens, and he nods. “You’re welcome, Derek.” 

They stand, smiling at each other. 

“Good night.” Stiles says, before disappearing behind the door. 

“Good night.” Derek says, just as Stiles slips into the bungalow.


	3. Imagine It Was Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek asks Stiles out to a friend's house to party, and Stiles charms every last person there. Derek realizes that his secret isn't too much of a secret, and lets himself have fun, while dealing with all these new feeling for grown up Stiles. 
> 
> Derek of course, is the king of overthinking himself, so that joy doesn't last as long as it should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this prompt for "We Like To Party", and I decided to go for some past fun as well as present.
> 
> Playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxpZ4PvYrFj1Yex0KNzuDvXECnFgnl7ks  
> Songs that give you the moods in the chapter:  
> "Mermaid" - Sade  
> "Summertime" - Billy Stewart  
> "Deeper & Deeper" - Madonna  
> "Imagine It Was Us" - Jessie Ware  
> "The One" - Kylie Minogue

Derek has no reason to be nervous. Really. He shouldn’t be. These are his friends. Some of them he went to school with here, and others met from years of working on the resort. 

Among them are going to be Danny and Jackson, who know Derek is gay, but have not told anyone, at Derek’s request. His ex-girlfriend Braden, who he has been friends with ever since she broke up with him a couple of years ago. The twins Ethan and Aiden will also be there, as well as their mutual friend Kali and her boyfriend, Ennis. 

Derek spends the day at the beach working, but really wishing that he could hang out with Stiles. He sees the dark-haired guy wandering about. Stiles spends several minutes talking with Laura while she does her rounds. He has lunch with Cora, and John. Stiles even spends time with Jacob Hale, talking about the campgrounds, and what the going rates are for a week of camping. 

The only person that Stiles doesn’t seem to have time to visit with is Derek, and Derek sincerely tries to not care. After all, he’s literally going to be spending all night with Stiles at this party. For a moment, Derek panics. He doesn’t know how to tell Stiles that he’s in the closet, and that Derek’s ex-girlfriend will be there, but then guys he’s played around with will also be there, and holy shit where did this headache come from so fast? 

Derek stops and takes a break, counting backward from 50. Somewhere around 15, he gets control of himself, and he takes another deep, cleansing breath. It’ll be fine. They can leave if they need to, or they don’t even have to go. 

“Derek?” 

Stiles is looking at Derek with concern all over his face. “You okay there, Big Guy? You look like you’re gonna be sick.” Derek snaps back to reality quickly, then puts on his work face. “Fine. Everything’s fine.” 

Fine as fuck, Derek thinks, taking in the sight of a shirtless, grown up Stiles. The muscled pecs, with a thatch of dark fur sprouting between them, Stiles’ dark nipples hard on his chest. Stiles’ arms are corded with muscle, and when Stiles smooths his hair back, Derek almost drools at the sight of the dark patches of hair embedded in Stiles’ armpits. When the fuck did he get so hot? When did this happen? Who pulled the switch?

“Are you sure?” Stiles is rubbing Derek’s shoulder, and it feels amazing. “Yeah.” Derek nods. “I think I just got a little too into my head.” 

“Happens to me at least twice a day.” Stiles grins, but it’s not a jokey, “ha ha ha” grin, it’s the grin of someone who has carried that weight, but will help you carry yours, just ask, and Derek… 

“So how’s the day treating you?” Derek asks, shifting on a dime. 

“It’s pretty amazing. I actually forgot how much I love it here.” 

“Really?” Derek asks. “I hope it means you’ll be back again. And not just during the summer. We’re open all season.” 

Stiles grins, as they walk down the beach. “I’d like that. It might be difficult to do though, when school is in session.” 

Derek nods. “Spring Break. Maybe on a long holiday weekend.”

Stiles nods. “Beacon Hills is five hours from here. I guess that’s not too bad a drive.” 

Derek feels relief at that. “So, are you still up to going to the party tonight?

Stiles nods. “Looking forward to it. Is it gonna be full on sixties beach party?” 

Derek smiled and shook his head. “It’s at a friend’s house. There will be drinking, maybe some dancing. Someone usually breaks out some sort of card or drinking game.”

“Fun.” Stiles waggles his eyebrows, and grins. “I’m actually gonna go head back for a nap, so….” 

Derek pauses for a minute, because all he wants to do is go take a nap with Stiles, but, that, that might make things…difficult, so he says nothing. Stiles says nothing more but finishes with “Right. So, I’ll see you later? Your place, 8pm?” 

Derek nods, watching as Stiles walks away. “Sure. See you tonight Stiles.” 

[Then]

“Draw Four Derek!” Stiles chirps happily. Laying down the Uno card with a multicolored design. 

“You got it Little Guy. Now pick a color.” Derek smiles.

“Green.” Stiles announces proudly. He always picks green. Sometimes red, but mostly green and Derek never understands why.

Derek picks up four more cards and is now holding practically half the deck in one hand. He’s losing on purpose, because you don’t own a nine year old at cards, unless you’re a dick. Derek’s uncle Peter did that to Stiles last year, and Derek had never once considered ripping someone’s throat out with his teeth, but it almost happened that night. Luckily, Talia came in to sit down, where she owned the shit out of Peter Hale in a single hand, and a still sniffling Stiles hung himself over Derek’s shoulders, before finding his way onto Derek’s lap. “You can pick the cards I play.” Derek told Stiles, while they watched Talia gleefully ruin Peter’s winning streak. 

Derek is twelve, and things are getting hairy at that age. Things are happening, hairs are coming in, and he’s already been given “The Talk” by his dad, which basically consisted of telling him “No means no. If she says no, you accept that and move on.” And “Don’t get any girls pregnant, please. I’m in no mood to be a grandfather this young.” 

That’s not really a problem, because Derek has already begun to notice other boys on the beach, and honestly, he’s been aware of them for a while. Still, Derek is enjoying this, what essentially feels like the last summer he gets to be a kid. 

He is already in the family rotation for jobs. He’s picked up a few more duties than normal, which also includes keeping an eye on Cora when their mom can’t, and Derek doesn’t mind. 

Stiles remains his constant, the closest thing Derek has to a best friend outside of school. To be honest, the only close friend Derek has, even with people he knows from school. Stiles is steadfast, like the Northern star in the summer sky. 

_“BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUPP! BUP! BUP!” _The singer sings on the radio. Scatting his way through a song Derek hears every time the Stilinski’s come over, albeit in different forms. Sometimes it’s a slow ballad, sometimes a cheerful tune. This time it sounds like the funnest dance party song ever, and everyone is having the time of their lives.__

__It’s the last night before the Stilinski’s leave for the fall again. Claudia back to teach fourth grade, Stiles ready to go back to school. John headed back to his job as a Deputy in Beacon Hills._ _

__John and Jacob have spent the day grilling and having beers on the Hale’s patio. Laura and Talia hold a broomstick up at waist level, so that the kids and Claudia can do the limbo. After Claudia’s CD finishes playing, Derek puts on some music that he’s been listening to, and the families dance in the living room, Cora holding on to her Dad’s hands as she stands on his feet, even though she’s starting to get as tall as him. It still makes Talia smile._ _

__Laura sits with Stiles as he shows her some new robot toy he’s shown everyone but her, and Derek smiles as he steps outside to the ice chest on the patio, to grab a can of iced tea from the soupy, ice cold water. He pulls the plug on the side, and lets the whole thing drain before popping open a can and taking a sip. He sighs as the cool, sweet drink coats his insides. Summer this year is hotter than before, and Derek both loves and hates that. He pulls off his shirt, and isn’t surprised that it starts drying, even in the warm night._ _

__“Can I have one too, Derek?” Stiles asks, from next to Derek. He’s obviously snuck away from the adults inside and is happily tagging along after Derek like he’s been known to do, especially this year. Stiles’ dad even jokes with Derek, asking where the teen’s shadow is, whenever he sees Derek without Stiles. Derek nods and pulls out a can for Stiles, and cracks it open, handing it to the boy who now sits next to Derek on top of the ice chest._ _

__“Are you having fun?” Stiles asks._ _

__Derek smiles and nods. “Of course. I’m here with you guys. That’s the best.”_ _

__Stiles looks happy and sips his tea, but only after Derek does. For the next five minutes, Derek watches Stiles out of the corner of his eye. When he sips, Stiles sips. When he sighs, Stiles sighs. When he stretches, Stiles stretches. It’s actually kind of adorable and makes Derek think that having a kid might not be the worst thing in the world._ _

__After a few minutes, Derek pulls on his shirt and gets up to go inside, and Stiles follows him. Like a shadow._ _

__

__The next morning, the families say their goodbyes, and before he leaves, Stiles gives Derek a big hug. “See you next summer Little Guy.” Derek says.  
“See you next summer, Big Guy.” Stiles always responds._ _

__

__[Now]_ _

__

__Derek is trying to get his collar to sit right. Not that he should bother. These parties are always informal, and people usually wind up close to naked after a while, so…._ _

__It happens when you’re young and fit and ridiculously good looking._ _

__Derek has given up on the outfit and is trying to find a new shirt when he hears a knock on the door. “Come in.” He says without thinking and starts when he sees Stiles standing there in front of him._ _

__Stiles is standing in his living room looking cute, dressed in a pair of khaki shorts, and a black tank top, holding a red hoodie over his arm. Stiles is staring at Derek in a way that makes Derek think something is wrong, until it hits Derek that something is wrong, in that he is just standing there in his underwear, since now he needs to find new shorts to wear since he is changing his shirt choice._ _

__Stiles licks his lips, and blinks his eyes. “Do you need me to….” Stiles gestures to the door. “You know… to umm… finish….?”_ _

__Derek is aware that Stiles is eyeing the Hello operator out of his front and back, and for a moment, he’s not too ashamed. People see about as much on the beach, and Derek is pretty proud of his body. He’s also aware that he is starting to chub a bit thinking of what Stiles might look like under those khaki shorts he’s wearing so that’s gonna have to be…. well, what is it Derek?_ _

__“No.” Derek said, quickly grabbing a pair of dark brown shorts, and putting them on. They’ll do, plus, they’re covering up a growing problem. “Just gotta find the right shirt.”_ _

__Stiles grins, and nods. He walks around Derek’s bungalow, looking at pictures, and seeing what’s changed since the last time he’s been here._ _

__Derek goes through shirt after shirt in his closet. He has no idea why Stiles being in here is making him so nervous because Stiles has been in here a bunch of times_ _

__

__[Then]_ _

__

__“Is this for me?” Derek asks, a smile on his face as Stiles hands him a bag with tissue paper inside._ _

__“A-yup!” Stiles says, smiling. “I got that for you before we came down here this year.” Stiles says, proudly. “I saw it and I thought it looked so cool and that you would like it.”_ _

__Derek pulls out a shirt, and he immediately loves it because he’s never seen anything like it. The sleeveless shirt, cut way down the sides is a dark green, and the screen print on the shirt is of a huge brown and gold tree. The tree has little speakers hanging all over it, giving the effect that it is making sounds, or can at least be heard._ _

__“It’s awesome.” Derek says, and pulls the shirt he’s wearing off, and immediately puts the new shirt on. He stands in front of the mirror and looks at himself. The shirt sets off his eyes perfectly, and shows off his body, which has been in development for a year now. His arms are wiry with muscle, and his pecs peek out a bit at the sides._ _

__Stiles grins as Derek proudly wears the shirt, turning to Stiles and saying. “I love it little guy. It’s perfect. Thank you.”_ _

__“Mom said to get it big, so that way you can wear it in case you get grown some more.” Stiles eyes looks a little dazed, and he’s smiling. “So yeah. We’re never here for your birthday, so I wanted to get something for you for your birthday.” Stiles grins._ _

__Derek feels his heart swell a bit. His birthday is actually on Christmas, and nothing quite shits on your birthday like the biggest holiday of the year. Rarely does he get birthday gifts that aren’t Christmas gifts, and this shirt is fucking cool._ _

__Derek hugs Stiles and Stiles’ wiry arms hug Derek back. At 11 years old, Stiles is what Derek used to be, what his dad used to refer to as a beanpole, but after a couple of years of surfing, and working out playing basketball at school, Derek has finally started to fill out. He thinks Stiles will too, someday._ _

__

__[Now]_ _

__

__Derek holds it in his hand now. A relic fetched from the back of the back of his closet. The shirt has been washed numerous times, but still looks good enough to wear. The limbs of the tree are missing lines here and there, and some of the edges have begun to fray. If anything, it looks cooler and Derek has no idea why it’s sitting in the back of his closet. He pulls it on, and damn if he doesn’t look even better on him now. He steps in front of his mirror and is amazed. His arms look amazing, and the deep cuts in the side allow for his Serratus muscles to peek out, and his pecs push the front of the shirt out._ _

__Yeah. He’s wearing this tonight._ _

__“Okay. Ready.” Derek says, fastening his necklace. Stiles stares at Derek in a way that makes Derek feel sexy, proud. He has no idea where this is coming from, but he is determined to enjoy every minute of it._ _

__“Is that…?” Stiles grins, looking at the shirt. Derek just nods. “You got great taste, Little Guy.”_ _

__Stiles chuckles and turns away, as Derek grabs his keys._ _

__

__The party is at Jackson’s family beach house. His parents are in London this year, and the house is already jumping by the time Stiles and Derek get there. Music is playing, people are eating and drinking. Jackson is standing with Danny playing beer pong against the twins, Ethan and Aiden._ _

__Kali is talking to a tall handsome man that Derek has never seen before, and Braden runs up to Derek giving him a big hug. “Hey there stranger!” Braden jokes. They saw each other often in the summer, since she ran a boutique shop near the north end of the beach. “How are you?” She pecks Derek on the cheek, and he greets her in kind._ _

__“I’m doing good Brae.” Derek can feel Stiles nudging into their space, and Derek pulls back a bit. “I’d like for you to meet an old, dear friend of mine, Stiles.”_ _

__Braden grins and offers her hand. “Hello, Stiles. I’m Braden, nice to meet you!”_ _

__“Likewise.” Stiles grins shaking her hand._ _

__“Come on in, we’re just getting started. Can I get you guys something to drink? Ennis brought some barbecue, and the twins brought drinks.”_ _

__“Maybe a drink.” Derek said, “Stiles?”_ _

__Stiles nodded. “Sure, whatever you’re having, Der.”_ _

__Braden pauses a moment. “Beers okay?”_ _

__Derek nods, and heads to the kitchen, to grab a couple, with Stiles in tow._ _

__“So, that’s the ex.” Stiles grins. “You guys look like you made a cute couple.”_ _

__Derek rolls his eyes. “Well, we did, but then she broke up with me, so please don’t bring any of that up, please.”_ _

__Stiles nods, and opens his beer, taking a sip._ _

__

__Derek had filled Stiles in on the way over to the party. It was a couple of miles South of the resort, overlooking a great bluff. The Whittemores had money, and Derek always wondered why Jackson came to work for them.  
“My parents think it’s a good idea.” Jackson would say, his tone implying what he thought of said idea._ _

__Over the course of the night, they all had fun. Jackson actually proved to be a great host when he was drunk, and Danny offered Derek and Stiles a place to stay in a spare room, with a suggestive wink that made Derek’s ears turn red. At one point they split up, going head to head at beer pong, which Stiles was shockingly good at, easily defeating Derek._ _

__“Don’t test me Big Guy.” Stiles jeered. “I can out ball you any night of the week.”_ _

__Danny looked Stiles over. “Well well. I wouldn’t mind testing that statement.”_ _

__Stiles winked at Danny. “Well, I’d hate to come between you and your boyfriend.” Here he paused, and looked at Derek quickly before looking back at Danny. “So one of you may have to swallow.”_ _

__The entire table cheered in laughter, and Danny leaned in to Stiles. “Just say when dude.”_ _

__

__Derek watched the exchange with a mix of amusement, and jealousy. I mean, come on Stiles, really?_ _

__Stiles seemed unbothered but did catch Derek’s eye every now and then. Derek just had another beer and went into the kitchen._ _

__“Dude, that Stiles kid is a riot.” Aiden laughed as he took a piece of chicken from the buffet._ _

__“He’s 22, he’s not even a kid.” Derek pointed out._ _

__“Whatever.” Aiden said. “My brother’s already planning on asking him to get married.”_ _

__Derek looked at Aiden in shock. “Really?”_ _

__Aiden nodded. “Yeah, but my brother falls in and out of love like people finish drinks.”_ _

__“He really is the life of the party.” Kali said, joining them, swiping a few chips. “How do you know him, Derek?”_ _

__“He and his family used to come to the resort years ago. This is the first time in ten years they’ve been back.”_ _

__Derek watches from the kitchen, he can see Stiles laughing with Aiden’s twin brother Ethan. The gay twin leans into Stiles, maybe just a little too closely, and Stiles giggles at something the handsome guy whispers to him, gently  
shaking his head, but licking his lips. _ _

__Derek doesn’t know how he wound up in the living room next to Stiles, but he’s there now, and places an arm on Stiles’ shoulder, and listens as Stiles tells some story about college._ _

__It strikes Derek that Stiles has lived this whole other life without him. Once the summer is over, Stiles is going to go back to that life, and it starts a bit of a ripple through him._ _

__“You okay Derek?” Danny asks. Stiles and Ethan are nowhere in the living room now, and Derek wonders if he’s had too much to drink. “I… yeah… I guess it all just kinda hit me.”_ _

__“What did?” Danny asks, taking the beer out of Derek’s hands._ _

__“Nothing.” Derek shakes his head. “Where is everybody?”_ _

__“Outside.” Danny says, “Come on, let’s go dance.”_ _

__

__The backyard patio is lit up with colorful lights, and a small smoke machine, and everyone seems to be out there dancing._ _

__Stiles is there, and he’s dancing with Ethan, Jackson, and Danny, and Derek feels his head spin a bit. There’s a bottle of water in his hand, and he drinks the whole thing, then heads out to the floor. Braden dances with him, and for a few moments, he’s happy, but not as happy as he was when he first got to the party._ _

__Stiles seems to notice this, and starts dancing with Derek, and that makes Derek feel amazing._ _

____“Are you waiting for something… Imagine it was us... tell me.... would you wait all night... are you thinking about it? I do... I dooooooooo…” _ ____ _ __

____Stiles is singing the song, as one does when one is out dancing. Jackson and Danny join them, and all four of them dance together, then Kali and Braden join, and everyone is dancing with everyone and the universe actually feels kind for a few minutes._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Derek goes to get Stiles and him another bottle of water and Derek’s head feels a bit clearer. He finds Braden near the ice chest, smiling at him._ _ _ _

____“What?” He asks, as she hands him a couple of bottles of water._ _ _ _

____Braden shakes her head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.”_ _ _ _

____Derek tilts his head. “Really?”_ _ _ _

____Braden nods. “I’m actually happy to see you like this.”_ _ _ _

____“You’ve seen me like this.” Derek smirks._ _ _ _

____“Derek, do you know why I broke up with you?”_ _ _ _

____Derek feels a little like the rug had been pulled out from under him, and stammers a bit. "I was.... not a great boyfriend?"_ _ _ _

____Braden continues. “I knew I wasn’t making you happy. Not in any way you needed it.”_ _ _ _

____Derek blinks, and feels angry for a second, but knows she’s right._ _ _ _

____“But seeing you with Stiles tonight. I am so relieved to see you finally found that happiness. Finally.”_ _ _ _

____Derek draws a breath. “Oh. Stiles. He’s…” He looks over to the dance floor, where Stiles is delivering his best front lawn sprinkler dance moves. It makes him grin wildly, and he misses Stiles, even though he's feet away. “We’re not actually… you know…”_ _ _ _

____Braden tilts her head. “Derek. Two years. I know you better than you know yourself.”_ _ _ _

____Derek rolls his eyes. “Come on, Brae. You couldn't.” He looks back at Stiles again and cannot help the smile on his face._ _ _ _

____“Well.” Braden grins, if you’re not together, then you better put a ring on it quickly. If you don’t…”_ _ _ _

____She gestures to the floor, where Ethan is back, and dancing close to Stiles. Maybe a little too close._ _ _ _

____Derek smiles, because Stiles looks happy. But Derek realizes that he wants to be the one to make Stiles feel like that. To make Stiles smile that way._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Moving back to the dance floor, Derek moves up behind Stiles, and places his hands on Stiles’ hips, and begins to move with him, to the music, which is telling Stiles everything in Derek’s heart._ _ _ _

_____“I’m the one… love me you love me you love me you love me… I’m the one….” ____ _ _ _

______Stiles turns to face Derek. His face is shiny and his eyes are drunk with happiness. He puts his arms around Derek’s neck, and rocks back and forth with Derek slowly, against the tempo of the song._ _ _ _ _ _

______They dance all night, with Stiles taking drink after drink, occasionally knocking back a bottle of water, but mostly drinking beer after beer._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Stiles has had too much, and Derek walks him to the car. Stiles is giggling, staggering, and looking up at the moon. “S’ pretty.” He mumbles. “Like you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek unlocks the door to his Camaro, and sets Stiles inside. Stiles looks at Derek, dazed. “I had a wunnerful time tonight Derk!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Chuckling, Derek straps Stiles in, and closes the door, heading to his side. The dancing, and gallon of water he’d consumed had more or less sobered him up enough to drive, even though he knows they should be getting an Uber._ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek straps himself in, and starts the car, listening to the hum of his engine. He feels Stiles’ hand creep over to his. Derek smiles, and gets them back to the resort without incident._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______When they pull into the parking spot, Stiles is asleep, which poses a small issue, in that Stiles SLEEPS. Short of whacking him with a baseball bat, there’s no waking him. Derek opens the passenger door, and unbuckles Stiles, pulling him out of the Camaro, and carrying Stiles. Stiles snorts and snores, burying his face into Derek’s neck, making the man feel warm, and…big._ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek bumps the car door closed, and locks it with the remote, then realizes that he’s not sure he’ll be able to get Stiles into his cabin for the night. Derek heads to his bungalow, and opens it with his swipe card, getting Stiles inside. He gets his shoes off at the door, to not track stand inside, then lays Stiles on his bed. Stiles shifts over, and lays on his stomach. Derek removes Stiles’ shoes. Derek looks at the guy laying in his bed. There’s plenty of room for them both, so Derek lays down._ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles curls in next to Derek, and Derek feels like this is what has been missing from his life._ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek finds himself wanting to kiss Stiles, while the guy sleeps, but can’t do it. Stiles is curled up now, Derek’s shirt curled into Stiles’ fist, and he looks so sweet, so innocent. This is who Derek feels for, who he’s known, or thinks he’s known, but the truth comes back around, that Stiles lives too far away. Stiles has his own life. Stiles has had more real relationships that Derek’s ever thought of having._ _ _ _ _ _

______Suddenly, Derek isn’t sure he wants to be close, not this close. Not where he can feel Stiles’ body pressed against him, smell his sexy musk, be deluded into the fact that Stiles could stick around long enough to fall in love with him and let Derek love him in return._ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek lays in the bed, eyes wide open, holding Stiles, listening to him snuffle and snore softly. At some point, Stiles turns over, and Derek carefully gets himself off the bed, and takes a spot on the sofa in his living room. He lays down, and covers his eyes, before falling into a complete, deep sleep, listening to the sound of the waves rolling against the shore._ _ _ _ _ _


	4. 2 Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I read something somewhere that said "If we're in the car, and I hand you the aux cord, I don't want to hear what you think I want to hear. I want to hear what moves YOU. I wanna hear where you vibe. I wanna hear your soul through the speakers." 
> 
> This is what Derek does, and that is what Stiles delivers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's come to my attention, I'm writing a Critereon Collection movie. Do with that as you will. 
> 
> Playlist here: 
> 
> For those following with the playlist, the following songs are this chapter's soundtrack:  
> "Bliss" - Tori Amos  
> "Summertime (UFO Mix)" - Sarah Vaughn  
> "2 Hearts" - Kylie Minogue  
> "Summerboy" Lady Gaga  
> "Fast As You Can" - Fiona Apple  
> "Strollin" - Prince and the New Power Generation
> 
> [You may or may not hit certain spots in the story with the lyrics, that's cool. It's all about the vibe.]

The next morning, Derek wakes up to the smell of coffee coming from his kitchenette. He shakes the cobwebs from his mind, and realizes that he has to piss like a racehorse. Standing up, Derek stretches, listening to his body snap, crackle and pop. The smell of coffee can only mean that Stiles is awake, and Derek loves that Stiles made sure to brew a pot for him. Derek creeps past his room, and sees that his bed is empty. Stiles is nowhere to be found. Hurrying to the bathroom, Derek empties his bladder of what feels like several gallons of piss, before washing his hands, rinsing his mouth, and waking up a bit more.

Derek pulls a mug from his dish rack and pours out a nice hot mugful of awake, and sees a note on the counter next to his coffee pot.

"Thank you for last night. Feel like hanging out today?" It's signed, "Little Guy", and there's a time marked. 11 AM. This gives Derek a couple of hours to wake up and get ready, which he does, happily.

The day is perfect. The skies are blue and streaked with white clouds, and the breeze keeps it from being too hot.

Derek is driving up the coast in his dad's car, a classic Mustang convertible, colored a metallic navy blue, with a tan rag top, which is now folded into the back, while his passenger fiddles with the aux cord.

Jacob Hale loves the classics, but also loves the current, so the sound system in the Mustang is just that. Stereo surround speakers are placed throughout the car, and the console has both cassette tape, and CD slots, as well as ports for USB and aux cord attachments. In short, it is the perfect vehicle to go driving in, not that anyone drives it much. Derek does note the side eye his dad gives him for wanting the day off. Not that a Sunday off is an odd or unreasonable request. The family usually takes them off in turns, but Derek NEVER asks for a day off, even when he isn't feeling up to the work.

Call it work ethic. Call it having no life. Derek just doesn't do such a thing, until today, that is.

"By all means." Jake smiles, and almost as an afterthought, tosses his son the keys to "Betty", which is what he calls the Mustang.

Stiles' eyes are wide when he sees their mode of transportation for the day. His mood greatly improved from the morning, when he woke up grumbly from a hangover, and a little disappointed that he was in Derek's bed, minus Derek. Stiles gets back to his own bungalow and showers and changes, opting for a relaxed California look for the afternoon's trip to Bay, which is an old seaside styled town several miles up from the Wolf's Beach.

There is no real agenda for the trip out, just to spend time with each other, and Derek is game despite his hesitation after last nights revelations.

They drive, the Mustang's sound system connected to Stiles' phone, which has a pretty good playlist going. Derek has his own taste in music, and he likes what he likes, and it's always frightening to dive into someone else's music collection because you don't know what they do. However, Stiles' taste in music is hitting pretty close to Derek's and that makes things pretty easy going.

Derek looks over at Stiles, who is lounging in the leather passenger seat, eyes closed blissfully listening to a strain of piano notes playing out of the speakers.

_"Steady as it comes, right down to you.... you said it all.... so maybe we're a bliss, of another kind I said... a bliss, or another kind I said...."_

Stiles sings out the lyrics, and looks over at Derek at the last part, smiling softly. Derek smiles back, but keeps his eyes on the road.

Songs come in and out, with Derek either saying "I like this", like with the previous song, or "Interesting", when its a song he's not sure about, which is happily only one or two.

There's a lulling, hypnotic string sound on the next song, which sounds so little like the rock stuff that came before, that it immediately sucks Derek into the soundscape and vibes of the song. There's a beat and pulse to it that mesmerizes him, and as the song goes on, he feels a weird sense of familiarity, like he's heard it before, but it stays dancing outside of his memory's reach until the vocal comes in almost a minute later.

_"Summer time.... and the living.... is easyyyyy....... fiiiiiish are jummmpinnnng, and the cotton is.... hiiiiggggghh."_

A rush of memories flood his senses as he immediately remembers Claudia Stilinski, and her ever present love of this song. She had dozens of covers of it, and played year after year whenever she was around.

_"Oooooohhhhh your daddy is rich.... aaaannnnnnd your ma is good lookiiiinnnnnng... so hush... little baby.... doooon't yoooooou cryyyyyy"_

Derek looks over at Stiles, who is sitting with his head tilted back in the seat, his eyes are closed, and a few tears fall from behind his lids, streaking down the sides of his face toward his ears.

There is a sad smile on his face, and Derek can see he's having a moment with the singer, the song, the beats... if Derek can feel it this deeply, he wonders what it does to Stiles.

Carefully, Derek brings his right hand down from the steering wheel, and lets it take Stiles' left hand, which is in his lap.

_"So hush... little baby.... don't you cry...."_

Stiles squeezes Derek's hand back, and sighs. "She was right, you know. I love these songs now, and I'm happy I have them to remember her by. Some days I can't remember her face. I can't hear her voice in my head, but I can always hear her and see her in these songs."

They road is empty before them as they drive. The odd car here and there passing them by, or in front of them. Stiles wipes his eyes with the back of his hands. "Sorry. Sometimes the songs do that. They make memories creep out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks."

Derek nods. "Memories are good. Some memories are great." Derek considers some of the ones he has, and so few of them make him smile. Most make him cringe. Stiles being back, letting him remember Stiles, remember who Derek used to be, those make him happy. Those memories make him smile in a way he hasn't in a long time.

It seems like Stiles is unlocking a lot of good things that Derek has forgotten. "Your mom loved that song."

Stiles nodded. "She used to sing it to me, usually when I was fussy and being a brat. Sometimes she'd just sit with me on the beach, in the shade, and sing it to me. I'd fall asleep on her. She never seemed to mind."

Derek smiles. Somewhere in his foggy memory that image is there, and it makes him think of the few times Stiles had fallen asleep on Derek as well. The comfort and trust of allowing yourself to be so vulnerable around someone, so much so that you knew they would protect you when you couldn't protect yourself. Derek looks at Stiles and thinks that he would happily protect him from anything. Derek also thinks that Stiles might do that for him, if the situations were ever reversed.

Derek squeezes Stiles' hand again, as they continue down the flat expanse of highway, with the ocean on one side of the car, and the inland on the other. The day is picture perfect, and Derek is so happy he is here, now. With Stiles next to him. It feels right.

Another song plays and Derek grins. "That's one I haven't heard in ages."

A bouncy, bouncy bassline thumps, accompanied by hand claps, and soon the heavy bass notes of a piano.

_"You make me invisible, Like sky you make my day, And I feel so wonderful, Oh, oh, oh, don't let go...."_

Stiles grins, and blushes. "I used to listen to this day in and day out. It reminded me of... you."

[Then]

Derek hears the music coming from Stiles' room in the bungalow. Stiles is the only one in there because John is out surfing, and Claudia is out on the beach, chatting up some of the mothers that she's become familiar with over the few years they've been coming there. She doesn't want to interrupt the group, so she flags Derek down and asks if he can go find Stiles and let him know they're having lunch in an hour.

Searching the beach, Derek doesn't see Stiles anywhere, and he's not in the playground, or in the clubhouse, playing with other kids. Derek checks his bungalow first, then heads for the Stilinski cabin.

Stiles is in his room, and the door is cracked open a bit so Derek is able to see inside if he stands at a certain point, and he immediately feels like a jerk cause he's technically spying on Stiles, but this is too cute.

Dressed in his bathrobe, and a pair of boardshorts, with swim goggles on, and a towel wrapped on his head, Stiles is singing in front of the mirror to a song playing off the little tape deck in his room.

_"TWO hearts are beating together!"_ Stiles sings with conviction as he holds two fingers up in front of the mirror in a peace sign. _"I'm in love, WOO! I'm in love WOO!"_ Each "Woo" is punctuated by as fist to the sky.

Derek holds his hands over his mouth. Stiles is singing into his hair brush like he is lip synching for his LIFE, and if there was a competition for twelve year old drag queens, Stiles would be winning that shit on this performance alone.

_"Is this, forever and ever? I'm in love, WOO! I'm in love!"_ Stiles shakes his head, allowing the towel to fall loose, and he continues to sing to his heart's content, and Derek cannot stop smiling. Stiles looks so happy, and so free now. He shakes and shimmies his shoulders forward.

_"Looks good in the sunshine, well hold on cause I'm coming up for air."_ Stiles pats his "hair" as he rocks his hips. _"and I can't even see up there... uh uh uh, don't let go, no oh oh, don't let go!"_

Stiles repeats the chorus, and Derek watches for a bit, then quietly backs away from the door. When the songs ends, he loudly opens the front door of the bungalow and calls out from there, "Stiles?"

He can hear some scrambling from Stiles room. "You in here little guy?"

"Yeah Der!" Stiles yells from his room, where he appears in the doorway, boardies and flip flops, and tugging on a shirt. Derek grins at him, thinking of how awesome that performance was and asks. "Wanna go to lunch?"

Stiles' eyes light up and he nods yes. "Sure Big Guy."

Derek smiles back. "Okay, cool, your mom said to come find you, you guys are eating in like, half an hour.

Stiles face falls a little bit. "Oh." His tone carries a little disappointment. "You're not coming with us?"

"Can't Little Guy." Derek says. "Gotta do rounds with Boyd. But maybe we can hang out later."

Stiles nods. "Sure, Der. I'd like that."

Derek turns and leaves and completely misses the part where Stiles frowns and pouts, watching him walk out the door. They don't hang out later.

[Now]

"I saw a great performance of this song years ago." Derek finally confesses. Stiles grins. "Drag show?" Derek chuckles. "Kinda." Derek looks over at Stiles and blushes. "You were singing it in your room. You had a robe and towel on. It was great."

Stiles turns scarlet and shouts "No way!!" Hiding his face in his hands, Stiles giggles. "That is so fucking embarrassing, how was I?"

Derek laughs because that's just what he would expect Stiles to say. "You were fucking lit dude."

Stiles laughs. "Come on Derek. Give it to me gay. You have to say, 'Stiles, you were serving'."

"Serving what?" Derek's brows tilt quizzically.

"Serving!" Stiles exclaims. "Serving looks, serving body, serving realness!"

Derek laughs. "This is something like a new word?"

"Derek!" Stiles giggles. "How long have you BEEN gay?"

Derek's jaw drops. "Stiles! I've... yeah, I'm gay, but like, I don't like... know all the words to it and everything!"

This sets Stiles off into a fit of giggles as the grass gets greener and the roads get wider.

"Okay, so we have got to get you some good gay and pop culture references and shit. You've been out in the boonies too long and have lost touch with your tribe."

Derek chuckles and shakes his head. Stiles tilts his own. "Do you at least watch Drag Race?"

A explosive laugh comes from Derek. "Sometimes. Cora loves that show."

Two hours and many gay dialect lessons later, Derek and Stiles arrive at the Bay, and get out of the car, shaking and stretching their limbs. The weather had turned a bit, getting a little muggy and humid. Stiles leads Derek around, dipping in and out of shops, spending time looking at clothes in a thrift shop, and stopping to have lunch at a little diner called the Shore Line Cafe. Stiles finds a record store, and they spend time going through stacks and stack of records, CDs, and cassette tapes.

"I can't believe there's still these shops around." Stiles says, excitedly.

"Well yeah. People like music." Derek nods, thumbing through a stack of records.

"Yeah, but a lot of people stream now. But there's something awesome about an album. A cassette, a CD. A physical embodiment of really good music."

Derek watches as Stiles waxes poetic, and immediately snickers as Stiles pulls out his phone to a music service app.

"Love this song." Stiles grins as the strains of Lady Gaga's "Summerboy" play in the record store, making him break out into song and dance around Derek a little bit up and down the aisle. "See, Rule One, pick a good pop diva, and stan her, to the absolute danger of alienating everyone around you from your fangirling." Derek chuckles, and shakes his head, as Stiles sings.

_"Let's get lost you can take me home, somewhere nice we can be alone...."_ Stiles looks right at Derek as he recites, causing the older guy to blush and look away. The song fades out, and goes into a smooth and jazzy song that sounds fast, and aggro, but fun and giddy.

"Vintage." Derek smiles, picking up a chunky plastic cassette box. He turns it over in his hand, watching as the hologram on the cover rotates back and forth. Stiles looks it up on his phone and they listen to some of the songs on it. "Great stuff." Stiles grins, saving it to his playlist. They check out several different artists and albums, with Stiles finding the stuff streaming, and either getting a yay or nay from Derek.

"I still can't believe you creeped on me, and spied on me giving my finest performance." Stiles shot Derek a side eye. "Perv."

"Stiles!" Derek guffawed and shook his head. "You were awfully adorable though."

Now Stiles blushed. "I was singing about you, you know." He looks up at Derek through long lashes, flirtatiously. "That song was always about you. The first time I heard it, ages ago, all I could think about was you."

Derek felt himself flush. "You didn't. Stiles, you were a kid."

"Yeah." Stiles shrugged. "I've had a crush on you since I pretty much met you. Every year I came back to the resort, I couldn't wait to see you. To see how you'd changed. You just got hotter and more handsome every year."

Stiles moved into Derek's space, his hips pressed into Derek's. "and you only got hotter these last ten years."

They're close now. Closer than two people in a shop would normally be. "I know you didn't think of me that way then. But... now? Do you now?"

Stiles is red, and Derek knows he is too because this is so bold, bolder than he would ever be, and bolder than Stiles was last night dancing with Derek and hanging over him like a lover, even though they were just....

What the Hell were they?

_"And I'll be your girl, if you say it's a gift, And you give me some more of your drugs"_

"Stiles." Derek's heart is beating wildly, and he's feeling himself go hard in his pants.

_"Yeah, I'll be your pet, if you just tell me it's a gift"_

"If you don't... I understand. But last night... what was that? Cause I just..."

_"'Cause I'm tired of whys, choking on whys, Just need a little because, because"_

Derek kisses Stiles. All of Derek's frustrations pour out into a single act that he's been wanting for longer than he thinks he can ever admit. Stiles kisses back, perhaps more strongly, and more aggressively than even Derek does, and Derek has decided to fucking go for it. He pushes a kiss into Stiles, hands grasping, groping, with Stiles matching him and they make out wildly for a solid minute, before they break away, gasping for air.

"Hey!" A voice comes from feet away, the shopkeeper is looking at them frowning. "Take that shit somewhere else. This is a family store."

Stiles laughs and Derek's eyes widen, and they turn redder, sputtering out laughter, Stiles grabbing Derek's hand, and running away from the shop fast as they can.

The giddiness of their flight has them laughing, and for a minute they lock into each other, pressed against the side of a sweet shop. Derek has his head back against the wall, and Stiles is leaning into him. Both are panting like they've run a mile, and their hearts are beating so hard, he's sure Stiles can feel his, just as sure as he can feel Stiles.

Once they've gotten their heads together, and take a deep breath, they go strolling past the shops, and spot an ice cream stand several feet away.

"Do you have a song for me?" Stiles asks Derek. They have stopped at the ice cream stand, where a very handsome clerk seems to be flirting with them both, after Stiles leans against the counter, and mentions craving a double dip really hard. Derek just laughs.

Derek licks the sweet black cherry and chocolate combo from his cone and thinks musically, as Stiles watches him with those whiskey amber eyes that still make Derek feel nervous in a good way when Stiles stares at him.

"I.... I don't know..." Derek thinks. There really isn't a song that reminds him of Stiles, but he doesn't feel like he can tell Stiles that. It feels like a dick move. "Probably that one about two hearts you played for me."

Stiles chuckles softly, and Derek feels like Stiles knows what Derek really means.

"That is to say, when I heard that song, it made me think of you, singing and dancing to that, and it really just..." Derek pauses. Fuck it. "It made me think of how much you make me smile."

Stiles flushes and eats some ice cream, and they sit there in the shade eating their treats. The weather continues to get hotter and heavier, the humidity up way too high.

They walk some more, and Stiles notices a barber's shop, so he cuts around, and heads over to it, with Derek in tow.

By the time Derek is in the door, Stiles is walking over to the barber's chair. The barber himself looks ancient, and Stiles sits in the chair, while the old man says something disparaging about men with long hair that Derek frowns at hearing.

"Just like I asked for." Stiles says, in a polite, business like tone that Derek has never heard him use.

If nothing else, the barber shop is air conditioned, and it feels amazing after the heat of the afternoon. There are two other stations that are empty, and old, old signs on the wall that show haircuts that haven't been popular since the moon landing. A large jar of combs immersed in blue gel are on the counter, which are lined with mirrors, and reflecting more mirrors, giving Derek a glimpse of infinite Stiles'. A woman, perhaps in her late fifties, sits behind a counter flipping through an old issue of Redbook. Derek notes the old magazines strewn on the short table in front of the waiting area. He feels like he's fallen through time.

Somewhere in between the lull of the smooth, jazzy music, and the soothing A/C, Derek falls asleep.

When Derek wakes up, he feels like he HAS gone through a time machine. Stiles is softly kicking his foot against Derek's, telling him in a soft voice that it's time to go. Derek's eyes focus to find that Stiles has cut off all his hair. He stands before Derek in a buzz cut, similar to the one he used to sport as a kid and

[Then]

"I hate it." Stiles pouts, arms folded over his chest. The sun is highlighting the white of his scalp, where only last night there was a mane of curly, wild locks on his eight year old head.

"Well, you were the one that fell asleep last night with gum in your mouth." John chides his son, as they leave the cabin. "You're just lucky the Hales had a set of hair clippers, otherwise you'd have a huge bald spot on your noggin."

Stiles pouts harder at the thought of that, and the moment he sees Derek sitting outside, the older boy is sure the younger is going to burst into tears. Derek takes one look at Stiles head, and runs his hands over the boy's buzzed head. "I like it. I think it looks cool."

Stiles' eyes go from tears to sparkle. "You do?" Stiles asks, dumbfounded.

"Totally!" Derek grins, giving the buzz cut another pass of his hand. "Plus it feels awesome."

Stiles reaches up with both hands and runs them through the soft bristles. "It does." He giggles and leans his head down to Derek. "Do it again."

Derek chuckles and runs his hands over Stiles' head. "See. It's cool."

Stiles giggles and runs away to beach, looking for his mom to show off his new buzz.

It's likely a coincidence that for the next 3 summers, Stiles shows up at the resort in the exact same buzz cut, until he's 12.

[Now]

"Wow." Derek says. For a moment, Stiles shifts nervously, and bites his lip. "Yeah." He says to Derek. "Kinda too hot for my hair to be that long."

The haircut has completely softened Stiles, and once again Derek is looking at an old friend in a new, yet familiar way. Stiles' face, no longer framed by his hair, is now open. His eyes look wider and more innocent.

Derek can feel a slight wobble in his stomach, as Stiles extends his hand to him. "Come on, Big Guy. Time to get back."


	5. Fade Into You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is it about a road trip that makes one want to speak on the deeper parts of your life? 
> 
> What is it inside of us that sabotages our own happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst makes a comeback for this chapter, before getting resolved somewhat. The end is... well, the end sets up the next chapter, and if you're a fan of sweet Sterek smut, then this Bud's for you!
> 
> Playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxpZ4PvYrFj1Yex0KNzuDvXECnFgnl7ks
> 
> Background music for this chapter, to underscore the drama.
> 
> "Garlands" - Tori Amos  
> "Weeping Willow" - Spencer Day  
> "Fade Into You" - Mazzy Star

The sun is setting on the drive back, but the visibility is still good, even though Derek can sense a storm coming. Clouds have already started to knot together, and close to the ocean they begin to billow, but instead of white and fluffy, these are grey, unfriendly looking clouds. They're heading back, just in time. This road floods in a heavy storm. 

The rag top of the Mustang is up, and it immediately gives a completely different vibe to the trip back. Stiles continues to play music softly in the background. 

"So. Probably none of my business." Stiles begins, and Derek wills himself to not clam up.

"But.... You said yesterday you weren't out." 

"Not really, no." Derek responds. 

"But, like, why?" Stiles asks, and Derek thinks for a moment. 

"Well, it's kind of like you said. It's no one's business but mine, and maybe the people I decide it's their business." 

"Does your family know?" Stiles looks over at Derek, who now feels like he's on display.

Derek considers the answer before responding. "I don't know. I don't think they do. If they do, then they haven't said anything, or hinted at anything saying as much." A car passes Derek on his left.

"They met Braden, and I don't really bring guys around. I hang with some at work if they work with us...." 

Derek lets his eyes catch Stiles' for a moment. "But no. I haven't come out to them. I don't really feel the need to." 

"Support is always nice." Stiles says, shifting in his seat a bit. 

"Does John know?" Derek asks. Stiles nods. 

"I came out as bi when I was 13. It was maybe a year after mom died. I was going to start high school, and I was feeling very grown up. Plus, I'd known. I'd always known." 

Derek nodded. 

"Plus, it was kind of a given. My best friend at school and I had started to get really close. His dad abandoned him and his mom around the same time my mom died." 

Stiles paused, licking his lips. Weighing his words, Derek could tell. 

"We kinda clung to each other, you know. The only support the other had in a storm. He's gay. So when we were in high school together, we just kinda found ourselves together, as a couple." 

Derek nodded again, his eyes on the road as Stiles continued. 

"I guess that's just kind of what gay kids do. They find their kind, try to figure things out. I mean, we were... you know... together." Stiles tone implied a lot there.

"You were lucky to have someone there." Derek says, feeling like shit. Wondering what would have happened if Stiles had come back that next year.

"We were.... yeah, we were in love." Stiles looks down, then back at the road. "As much as two teenagers can be in love. Honestly, it could have never lasted, so it didn't." 

"Why didn't it last?" Derek asked, drawn into the story now.

"Because." Stiles sighed. "Who you are at 13 isn't who you grow up to be at 18, and certainly not who you think you'll be at 22." Stiles wiped his nose. "He and I started with wanting comfort, and sex, but then as we grew up more, we wanted different things." 

"You wanted a relationship, and he didn't?" 

"Other way around." Stiles replied. "I was... I was just there, and I loved him, but I just wasn't, you know, IN love with him. I still wanted him to be happy, but I always thought, 'I'm a fraud. I don't make him happy, I make him satisfied, and that's not the same thing.'" 

Something drops in the pit of Derek's stomach, thinking of what Braden had told him just last night. 

"So, when we were getting ready to graduate, I knew I was going to go to college pretty far, and used the whole 'we're not going to the same place' bullshit that assholes use to break up with someone that's too good for them. That was that." 

Stiles is staring out the window now, watching as drops of rain begin to dot the pane of glass. 

"Scott's done well for himself. He graduated, went to college. Met this sweet guy obsessed with scarves and crying endlessly. They're gonna get married and open a Veterinary hospital. Good for them." 

Derek nods. Without thinking he asks. "And in college?" 

Stiles shifts a bit more, and flushes. "That was... different. That was Lydia." Stiles looks over at Derek quickly. "I really liked her too, she and I met our second year in college. I had promised myself I wouldn't start shit there." 

Sighing, Stiles continued. "But you always say no, but then you find a yes. Lydia was my yes, in a lot of ways. She was totally cool with the Bi thing. We even had some threesomes with other guys. She enjoyed that." 

Derek chuckled softly. 

"I guess, I wanted to try and love someone, and on paper, she worked. You know? Like, you list all the things you would like in a person, in a partner, and this person comes along, and they're all these things, but there's always a problem."

"Which is?" Derek asked.

"They're not the physical person you're attracted to, not the person you've always been in love with." 

Derek felt his hands tremble a little on the wheel. Outside, the rain has started to come down a bit more. Derek can feel Stiles looking directly at him, and Derek knows he can't look now. He's afraid. Of what?

"So when we graduated, I did the thing again. I don't regret that though, cause Lydia was fucking amazing and she deserved way better than me." 

"Stiles, you ARE amazing." Derek pushes back. "You're an incredible person, and don't you ever say otherwise." 

Stiles nodded. "Thank you. You know, you were the only person that ever made me feel normal. Made me feel right." Stiles looked down. "That's a lot to put on a person, sorry." 

Derek shook his head. The rain continues to come down, and the clouds are now darker, denser. 

"No, I... I think if I look back, yeah, I can see more clearly that you had a crush on me." Derek says. "I'm sorry that... if you liking me messed up your life in any kind of way..."

"You didn't mess up my life, Derek." Stiles shook his head, amused. "You just... I guess you set a high bar for me. No one's managed to clear it yet." 

Derek feels Stiles' hand on his, resting on the gearshift as Derek drives. The feeling is warm, and soothing, and Derek loves it, he realizes 

[Then]

that he's gay when he's 12, and there's very little one can do about it, except pine away, and when he makes friends with an older boy on the beach, it feels amazing. Chris is tall, trim, and fit, and makes Derek feel like an older kid. Chris and his family always show up a little later in the summer, usually after Stiles and his family are gone. Derek has a crush on the older boy, who is only 2 years older than him. If he were more observant, like he will be in another decade or so, he's basically the Stiles of this pair. Chris is not just someone that makes Derek feel giddy with sexual desire, he's someone Derek wants to BE like. 

It's when Derek is 13, and Chris is 15 that something happens, and it's at Derek's insistence. They're laughing, talking, walking alone along a stretch of the southern part of the beach, as the sun is setting. Derek can't remember how, but soon they are behind the dunes, and he is on his knees in front of Chris, giving his first blowjob, knees wet in the cold sand, the echo of the waves around them, and the cool wind wrapping them up in their lust, and Derek knows what's going to happen, so he's ready when it happens, and Chris is hanging on to him for dear life telling Derek how amazing he is, and how good it feels. 

As soon as Chris is done, he zips up, and tells Derek they'll hang out tomorrow, which they do, and each time they do, they go a little farther.... 

And Derek feels satisfied, but a little empty after because he can get what he wants, but afterwords, he's still full of need. Which is why Boyd is satisfying, because Derek is a year older, a year bolder, and more experienced. Chris never comes back after that second summer and Derek replaces him with Boyd, and then with Danny, then with Jackson, and the entire time it's true, he's satisfied, but he's not happy. Not in a way that stays. He dates Braden, and for six months he doesn't even bother to ask about having sex, and she seems to find it really refreshing, and when the time comes, Derek is... not confused, but definitely in disbelief that he's doing what he's doing only now it's with a girl, and even though most of the parts are pretty much the same, it's not the same. 

It's what he feels is expected though, and his family likes Braden a lot, so he doesn't make a huge deal about it, and after the second year when Braden sits Derek down and talks to him about being happy, Derek doesn't take it as a personal attack. If anything, he feels a great sense of relief because he doesn't have to hurt anyone, because if someone had to look at him ever again, the way that Stiles had looked at him that one night...

[Now]

"Der?" Stiles is squeezing his hand, and Derek blinks his eyes. They're almost home, and Derek feels like he's been on autopilot. 

"Stiles." Derek replies. 

"Yes?" Stiles' voice is reassuring. 

"What happens when you leave, next week?" Derek feels the question fall out of his mouth and it lays there between them, like a lead balloon. 

Stiles blinks. "What do you mean?" 

"Like, if we.... do anything, or start anything, or get involved in any way, what happens when you have to leave, and I'm here all by myself and you're out there living your life, and coming by once a year, if even that...."

"Whoa, whoa, okay, Der..." Stiles' voice is firm. "Number one, we live in the modern world now. Now we have cell phones and video chat, and even if we are apart now we have a better chance of staying in touch, and two..." 

Derek looks back and forth from Stiles and the road. He eases into the lane that will take them to the resort. 

"Are you saying there's a chance we can do something or develop something or get somewhere because, Hell yes, and I would definitely be open to that." 

"But after, Stiles. Like, what happens after?" Derek has pulled into the parking lot, and killed the engine. The rain is coming down and the sound on the roof should be soothing, but it's not. "Like, let's say we fuck. Let's say I like it. Let's say we both do. What happens when we can't be together after?" 

"Wait." Stiles holds out his hands. "This is getting kinda serious, I don't think..." 

"I'm sorry." Derek covers his face with his hands. "I'm.... I'm very fucked up right now because all I can see right now is a future where things happen, then you leave and I never see you again." 

"Why would you think that?" Stiles replied, offended.

"Because you did it before!" Derek shouted.

"Because my mom was dying!" Stiles shouted back. "I didn't have a choice. I had to go with my parents. Like I have to go now because in a couple more weeks, my next set of classes starts. It's not my fault you're stuck here." 

Derek's face goes stone still, and he gets out of the car, into the rain. Stiles unbuckles himself, and scrambles after Derek.

"Der! Der! I'm sorry... I didn't... you're not... Der!" 

Derek hits the remote to lock the car. He is burning with such anger, and he can't tell if its the rain, or tears streaming down his face. 

"DEREK!" Stiles is standing in front of Derek, rain soaking him. "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to say...." 

"But you're right, Stiles." Derek exhales. "I'm down here. You're all the way up there." 

Derek steps around Stiles, and Stiles grabs on to Derek's wrist, pulling him back. "Please." 

"I can't keep losing you Stiles." 

Derek feels Stiles let go of his wrist, and the look on Stiles' face makes Derek feel like he wouldn't care if he died here alone, because right now, he feels like he deserves nothing more.

Derek drops the keys off in his Dad's bungalow, and heads to the dining hall, and sneaks in through the back. The kitchen staff is familiar with each member of the family, and no one says anything when Derek takes a small container and puts some food into it, covering it with foil. He nods to Cora, who eyes him warily, but then moves on to something else. Derek ducks back out to his bungalow. 

He sets the food down on the counter of his kitchenette, and opens his fridge, taking out some orange juice and drinking a bit before he puts it back. 

Stripping off his soaking wet shirt, he hangs it over a chair, with his pants, so they can dry out. He walks to the shower, and turns it on hot, and steps under the spray. It burns, and he doesn't care. It burns and he lets that be the excuse for the tears that are coming now. 

[Then]

"You knew I couldn't stay, why are you being such a girl about this." Duke practically spits the words out at Derek, who is laying in bed, covered to his waist as Duke puts on his clothes. It's late night in Derek's bungalow.

"I was just hoping, you know, since it was your last night here, that maybe... you know... " Derek feels the words stick in his throat. 

"Look, baby boy, you know that's not what this is. I told you when you first climbed on my dick that this was all just fun. What, did you think I was gonna stay here?" Duke pulls on his shirt. 

"You said that you'd try." Derek looks at Duke, and hates the needy feeling inside of him right now. 

"Look, dude. I'm a good lay. You're a hot piece of ass. Get used to that, because it's pretty much gonna be how it is for you." 

Duke pulled on his shoes, and leaned over the bed. "Look. We had fun. I like having fun. You're a lot of fun." Duke smiles at Derek, and the teenager wants nothing more than to punch the guy in the face. Only his heart hurts too much.

"Duke. Please." Derek feels so empty. Something is tugging at his mind, the way it does around every time this summer and he can't figure out why. 

Duke says nothing, just turns around and leaves Derek alone in bed. Staring at the back of the door, Derek sighs, and gets out of bed, and strips out the sheets because they still smell of the sweat and lust of the last hour. 

Derek stands and stares at his body in the mirror. Sometimes he hates the way he looks. Derek fingers the seashell around his neck, and then takes it off, tucking it away in his drawer, before wandering to the shower, to scrub the scent of Duke off his body.

[Now]

Derek has a headache, and he doesn't know if its cause he hasn't eaten, or if the crying has given it to him. He wants to call Stiles, but he doesn't even know what he would say. He completely overthought, and totally took shit out on Stiles that he had no business doing. But then Stiles himself had said that he didn't like to get attached. That he would leave someone so that he wouldn't get left, and Derek had been left plenty in his life, thank you. 

Leaving the shower, Derek wraps a towel around his waist, and looks at the food on his counter. He can't muster anything resembling an appetite so he shoves it in his fridge, and then lays down on his bed. He hated everything about himself right at this moment, and just closed his eyes, trying to let himself drift into sleep. 

The rain outside continued to fall, splattering against the window of his bedroom. Derek turned his head and stared out the window. Surely he was being punished for something. 

Derek woke as the sun came up, like always. It's more fitting to say, he opened his eyes, since it didn't FEEL like he slept a wink. The first thing he notices is that the rain is still going strong. California storms are unpredictable. Today's seems to want to stay.

It also wants to be destructive. The second thing Derek notices is that the power is out. His phone is plugged in, but the device is only half charged. He has two texts, but neither is from Stiles. Both are from his mother, letting Derek know that he won't be needed today either. The storm keeps the beach closed, and the dining areas and clubhouse will be open. So Derek really won't need to do much of anything, which pisses him off because today looks like it's not going to get any better until he gets back to bed. 

Derek plugs in his spare battery to his charge port, and turns on the music on his phone. The song is on for thirty seconds before he hears a pounding on his door. Surely someone wouldn't be able to hear his music and complain. 

Getting up from the bed, Derek shoulders on his robe, because he's still naked from last night's shower. Derek opens the door, and on the other side is a soaking wet Stiles. His shirt is stuck to his body, and his pants are weighing him down. He looks like he's been standing in the rain for hours. The water beads on his long lashes, He looks like he's been crying. 

"I don't care." Stiles says, shivering. Derek's brows knit, and he pulls Stiles into the bungalow, Stiles immediately begins to drip, and Derek runs to get Stiles a towel, while the guy shivers. 

"Take those off." Derek says, handing Stiles a towel, before heading back to his room and closet, to grab something for Stiles to change into. Stiles pulls off his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head, until Derek returns and helps Stiles. Derek takes Stiles' shirt, and wrings it out in the kitchenette sink, before hanging it up on a hook. Stiles brings his pants and underwear, and Derek does the same. Stiles looks warm and comfy, in a pair of Derek's old sweats, and a long maroon shirt with thumbholes. Stiles is still shivering. 

"How long have you been out there?" Derek scolds Stiles, who wipes his nose. Stiles shrugs. "It doesn't matter." 

"What did you mean by saying that you don't care?" Derek asks, putting a kettle on the gas stove to warm up some water for tea. Stiles sniffled. Derek grabs a thick blanket from his bedroom closet, and wraps Stiles inside. rubbing his shoulder to try and warm Stiles up enough to stop shivering. 

Stiles looks at Derek. "I mean, I know we've only got a week left here. I don't know about you, but, I don't want to spend it dreading the day I leave. I want to spend it with you. I want to know what it's like to be with you. And I'm sorry that I said what I did last night." 

Derek raises his brows. 

"About saying that you were stuck here. I understand, because I was stuck where I was. I took care of my dad, and I don't regret that. But I always wanted to come back here. I wanted to live here with you, in this kind of, 'Endless Summer' fantasy, being with you, learning how to surf. Learning how to be everything you wanted, or needed."

"Stiles..." Derek shakes his head. "What makes it so difficult is that you already are that person. I think you've always been." 

"But." Stiles whispers.

"But your life is not here. You'd leave me, and I'd just have to deal." 

"We could be friends that fuck." Stiles suggests and Derek frowns a bit at that idea. "Okay." Stiles nods. "Not really an ideal option for you, I get it." 

Derek shakes his head again. 

"What if I moved down here? What if you moved up there?" Stiles asked. 

Derek sighed. "I'd need to find work, get my own place, I can't just pick up from here and abandon my family." 

Stiles nodded. "You could move in with me and Dad." 

Derek chuckled. 

"Trust me, he's familiar with ignoring the sounds of mad passionate gay sex, he's had years of practice." 

This makes Derek laugh, hard, and for a moment it feels like all the clouds have broken. The storm continues, streaking the windows. 

"So, that kiss is basically going to haunt me forever, then." Stiles says, softly. "It was everything I literally have dreamed of for ten years. Well, more than ten." 

Derek looks at Stiles. 

"What?" Stiles shrugs. "This is no surprise." 

Derek looks at Stiles, and shakes his head. 

"I've fantasized about you forever, Der. Any scenario you can dream up, no matter how sweet, how filthy, how kinky, how perverse, I have thought of it." Stiles is red now, not looking at Derek. 

"What's your most favorite?" Derek asks, getting up from the couch and getting the tea kettle from the stove top, and pouring out two mugs, which he leaves steeping on the counter. 

Stiles looks over at Derek, from where he's seated on the couch. "This." 

"What, this?" 

Derek grins, gesturing to the room.

Stiles nods. "The gentle rain, a lazy day. The man of my dreams apparently naked under his robe." Stiles raises his eyebrows and Derek looks down, and sees his belt has come loose and little Derek (or not quite that little Derek) is pushing out to say hello.

Derek looks at Stiles on the couch, still wrapped in blankets, but obviously tenting out the front of the borrowed sweats. Derek knows he is going to lose this battle, knows he is going to lose his heart. 

Staring into Stiles earnest eyes, he decides that maybe, well, maybe it would be worth it. Stiles rises from the couch and approaches Derek, his sizable erection pushing out over the hip of the sweats. He stands before Derek, and takes the older man's hand, and guides it to Stiles' spotted, rosy cheek.

"Just once." Stiles voice is soft, and Derek can feel himself tremble as he strokes Stiles' cheek. Stiles dips his head onto Derek's shoulder, and sighs. 

"Let me have just this once, and I'll never ask for it again."

Derek closes his eyes, taking in the scent of Stiles. It's an old, comforting, familiar bouquet that Derek recognizes, and the smell explodes through his senses, and suddenly, he wants it. He wants it all. He needs Stiles, and he knows he'll regret it next week when the guy is gone. 

That's a problem for Future Derek, he decides, and slowly opens his robe, letting it fall from the wide expanse of his muscular shoulders, onto the floor.


	6. No Ordinary Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm incapacitates the resort, and with nothing to do, our boys take a day to address the storm in their hearts, and in their pants.
> 
> (Mostly in their pants)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this heady cocktail of fluff, filth, kinks, drinks, smut and buttsecks, but hardly any plot development so you could totally skip it if you wanted to.
> 
> I mean... I wouldn't. 
> 
> and you can listen to these for tone and color: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxpZ4PvYrFj1Yex0KNzuDvXECnFgnl7ks 
> 
> "I Want You" - Madonna  
> "Lust" - Tori Amos  
> "Come To Me" - Bjork  
> "No Ordinary Love" - Sade  
> "Damn U" - Prince

The storm has started again in earnest, with the winds slamming the rain against the windows and the rumble of thunder, only faint this morning, now echoing as it cracks the silence of the gray day. The bright flashes of lightning thread out across the sky, out above the sea, creating gorgeous, nightmarish views over the ocean. Despite this incredible view, the curtains of Derek's den remain drawn, the light filtered by solid navy blue curtains that remind him of the deepest part of the sea.

Derek and Stiles are standing together, facing each other in Derek's bedroom, naked as the day they were born, and so much older than they've ever been with each other.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Stiles asks, giving Derek one last out, knowing that once this happens, there's no going back to who they used to be, and Stiles accepts that, but needs to know that Derek does as well.

"I want it Stiles." Derek pleads. "I want it all. I want you."

Their kiss, the first kiss, is the first kiss over again. Where their kiss in the record store had been feverish and needy, this one is slow, deliberate, there is no rush, because the day, the night, it will be theirs. Derek feels Stiles' hands mover over his body, and Derek hesitates to touch that skin that he's seen so often, but now is his, and his alone right now. 

Derek's eyes are closed, but his mind, his body, and his soul feel more open than they have felt in what is possibly his whole life. Stiles is the reason for that.

Stiles' hands, his lips, his body, his fingers, all leaving their own invisible marks on Derek's body, like invisible tattoos that only the lover will ever see, ever know, ever understand.

Derek has longed for this, this experience, forever. Never once in his wildest thoughts did he ever think Stiles Stilinski would be the person that would give him this. None of his lovers, not even the few older ones, have wanted this. They gladly ravage, worship, fill, and yes, absolutely satisfy him in lust, but lust is not love.

Derek understands lust, has maybe understood it and replaced it as love, but as the last few years of his life had showed him, love was something he'd needed long before. That love is not just one thing, but that the one thing that is love to you, that you cannot do without.

It is in this moment, in this darkness, in this room that Derek realizes that he loves Stiles. That he's always loved him, that no one in his life has ever made him feel more powerful, more appreciated, more complete than Stiles has done. This week has drawn them closer. .

Stiles made no joke about wanting to worship his hero. The moment that he lays Derek down on the bed, Stiles is over him, but the shock comes not from how he covers Derek with kisses, but how slow and deliberate each kiss is on Derek's form. Danny had liked to do that, to kiss all over Derek's body, his lips and tongue almost lethal in their skill. Jackson had seemed almost obsessed with Derek's form, tracing the muscles with his fingertips, seeming to be equally admiring and resentful of Derek's body. Duke. Duke made no secret that Derek was his prize. That Derek was a trophy and that his beauty would only belong in Duke's hands. Then Duke left him. Derek expected that. Derek always expected that of his lovers, despite his hopes that one would break that chain. But no, never, not one would stay, and he would be fine with that. Stiles wasn't going to stay, and that hurt Derek, but Derek also agreed with something Stiles had said earlier, before they started.

"I'd rather look back and think that something beautiful happened, even just once, than spend my life wondering what could have happened, if I'd only been brave enough to try."

Derek gasps as Stiles' lips purse and press against Derek's collarbone, in the divot just below his throat. For a flash of a second, Derek has a visual of a creature, maybe a vampire, maybe a wolf, looking to claim it's mate. Stiles pauses, and Derek swears the younger man growls, and it makes Derek throb with need. Stiles continues to kiss up Derek's neck, making the older man twist with want, with need. Derek NEEDS this, he NEEDS Stiles' touches, NEEDS Stiles kisses, worship, and everything. Stiles seems happy to give this, endlessly.

"Just once." Stiles had asked, held in Derek's arms earlier, before all of this started. "Let me have just this once, and I'll never ask for it again."

It sounded like a devil's deal, and Derek agreed but the truth was that even if STILES didn't want it again, didn't mean that Derek wouldn't. They haven't even been at it for 15 minutes yet and Derek was sure he'd never be able to live his life without it now.

Derek was used to sex being quick, usually secretive, often attached with some sort of condition, as it had been with Boyd that summer. Derek understands now that he's had sex plenty of times, but never, ever in his life has he been made love to, not even by himself.

Stiles is practiced at this, and Derek doesn't want to think of the practice Stiles has had, doesn't want to think of Stiles bringing anyone else but him this kind of exhilaration, this euphoria, this Nirvana.

"You're so beautiful." Stiles whispers into Derek's ear. "I'm so thankful you are letting me have this with you."

Derek wants to cry. Never before.

"I'm yours, Stiles." Derek says, surrender cracking his voice. He doesn't want to belong to anyone else now, and he has no idea what he'll do if... when... when Stiles leaves. He forces himself to not think of that now, but to concentrate on Stiles' fingertips, grazing slowly over Derek's body. The way the pads glide over Derek's chest, tracing the rounds of his nipples, softly teasing the tips as they harden under Stiles' touch. Derek's chest arcs up off the bed trying to be held, trying to find a home in Stiles' hands, but the young man seems to be an expert at delaying pleasure, and Derek both loves and loathes Stiles' self control.

"I've wanted this for so long." Stiles kisses Derek's chest, gently pushing Derek's torso back down to the mattress. "I want to take as much time as I can. I want to commit every cell of your skin to my memory." Stiles lips brush a hard nipple, and Derek groans as the feels the slick, wet muscle of Stiles' tongue come out for a lick. The action is so quick, and so satisfying against the slow exploration that it almost makes Derek explode.

"Patience, Big Guy." Stiles murmurs against the swell of muscle. Derek focused on the pitter patter of the rain against the windows to try and keep cool, to keep his mind from short circuiting from the erotic pleasure of Stiles' hands and mouth.

When Stiles asked for what he wanted most, Derek would not and could not refuse the guy, and it felt so freeing to Derek to admit that he too wanted Stiles. Wanted to touch, to taste, to feel Stiles inside of him. But wanting, and feeling deserving of it are two different things, and Derek is not able to reconcile those two things inside of him, which it why Stiles takes control.

Stiles takes Derek's hands, guiding them to Stiles' own chest, laying the warm palms to Stiles' pecs. "Touch me." Stiles encourages Derek, when it seems the older man is intimidated. "I'm yours." Stiles reassures Derek, "All yours. For as long as I can be yours, I want to be yours." They are naked in Derek's bedroom, and face to face. This is something Derek has known with others, time and again, but this time feels different. Derek wonders what would have happened if Stiles had come back that following year. The year after that? After that? It's too much to think of right now. Stiles kisses him, and Derek kisses back, moving back toward the bed, where Derek sits down, and Stiles straddles his lap, kissing continuously, desperately, hungrily. Derek pulls Stiles into the bed, and reaches down, gripping a firm, pale ass cheek. "Yes," Stiles whimpers. "Anything you want." and it makes Derek hard, harder than Stiles is pressed against him. "Stiles." Derek growls, and pants, trying to gain control over himself.

"Inside of me...please..." Stiles gasps. Derek lets his fingers trace Stiles' cleft, finding a clean, warm opening there for him. This is fast, this is need, for both of them. Derek knows that he won't last, and Stiles has made it clear, despite Derek's lack of experience on the practice, that he will be buried inside of Stiles. He will leave a part of himself inside there. Derek lays back on the bed, and Stiles straddles his waist, reaching back to hold Derek steady. There's a great love in Stiles' eyes, a great trust, and it burns brightly as Stiles aligns them, sinking himself down onto Derek. Stiles gasps as he is breached, and moans as he controls the descent. It's clear that Stiles wants to prolong this, but the moment that Derek bottoms out, and Stiles can feel the crush of Derek's wiry pubes underneath him, it's over. Stiles throws his head back in ecstasy as Derek fills him up.

Stiles is tight, his innards clenching as he moves up and down Derek in a fluid rolling of the hips, and Derek loses himself inside of Stiles, filling him up to the point where he can feel his offering leaking out of Stiles.

"Sorry." Derek gasps, turning red. "Sorry... that should have lasted...."

"Shhhh." Stiles runs his hands over Derek's chest, letting them come up to Derek's neck, then chin, til a long finger settles on Derek's mouth. "You're perfect." Stiles reassures Derek. He is still sitting on top of Derek's hips, and he takes Derek's hands, pulling them up to his own chest, closing his eyes as Derek takes over, his hands caressing Stiles' chest, combing his fingers through the patch of hair, thumbs grazing Stiles erect nipples. Stiles moans, and rocks into Derek's hands, and to Derek's surprise he feels himself growing inside of Stiles again.

"Yes." Stiles gasps as Derek inflates. "Thank you, Big Guy. I've always wanted this. I've always wanted you." Stiles begins to rock, his slick insides moving around Derek's erection, his opening tightening as he pulls up, relaxing as he descends. "You're my perfect." Stiles sighs, looking Derek in his eyes. "Thank you."

Derek feels so warm, so happy. Has he ever felt happy during sex? Excited, certainly, aroused, definitely, but happy? Like he genuinely has a smile on his face, watching Stiles ride him, watching as this person he loves is taking satisfaction in his body. No, Derek thinks, not taking, sharing. The realization hits Derek and he eases himself up, so that Stiles in now sitting in his lap and they are face to face, Derek pulls Stiles in for a kiss, and it feels like electricity is passing between them. Derek takes Stiles by the waist and holds him up while Derek rocks. Sharing. Active. Stiles wants Derek,and Derek finally can have Stiles, without guilt, without issue. And Stiles WANTS Derek to have him.

Stiles leans into the kiss, letting his fingers thread into Derek's hair, possessively. Derek growls into the kiss, feeling Stiles tighten as he does, so he does it again. Derek locks against Stiles but his fingers have no hair to twist into, so he lets his fingers and hands rub over Stiles' freshly shorn head, his trimmed, smooth nails travel Stiles' scalp, causing Stiles to make a sobbing, keening cry as Stiles comes a second time, his hips digging down into Derek, begging for another deposit. Derek feels Stiles, erect and hard between them, spurting rope after rope between their bodies, and Derek holds Stiles, burying his head into the younger guys neck and sinking his teeth into the flesh as he fires salvo after salvo inside of Stiles. Derek is shocked to find that Stiles is crying softly against Derek's neck. Derek pulls off of Stiles neck in shock. "Oh shit, did I hurt you?" Derek tries to pull away, but Stiles clings to him

[Then]

and Derek wonders why Stiles is a little extra needy today. Not that nine year olds can't be needy, just that Stiles will not let go of him today. "Don' go." Stiles mumbles into Derek's side, where his face is pressed.

"I'm not going anywhere." Derek reassures Stiles, calmly, rubbing his hand over Stiles' buzz cut. He won't either. Claudia isn't feeling well and John is staying back with her at the bungalow until she feels better, and so Stiles is his today. Stiles is usually a bundle of energy, ready to go and do anything, but this day, something has happened and it's making Stiles feel all kinds of ways.

"Mommy is sick again today." Stiles sniffles. "She's gonna be sick again. She's always sick."

Derek feels bad for Stiles. With no brothers or sisters, he's alone if either of his parents fall ill on break, which happens rarely, but still happens. In times like this, Derek can only think of one sure fire remedy.

"Want some ice cream?" Derek asks Stiles, softly. "We'll go grab some, and we can sit and watch the water, 'k, Little Guy?"

Stiles grinds tears out of his eyes and nods, taking Derek's hand as they walk through the muggy summer heat, sand scorching the bottoms of their feet, until they make it to the service entrance of the dining hall.

Derek gets them inside, and Stiles waits and watches as Derek piles three scoops of cookies and cream ice cream onto a cone, before putting the tub away and handing it to Stiles.

They walk over to the pier on the north shore, and climb between the struts holding it up, to underneath the pier where they watch the water slosh around the rocks, and watch little crabs scuttle over the slick surfaces.

It feels like a whole new world under here, and Derek has never brought, or will never bring anyone else here. In two years, neither boy will fit under the struts or slats.

Stiles leans into Derek and continues to eat his ice cream, which is quickly melting in the oppressive heat of the day.

"Derek. You won't leave me, right?"

Derek looks over at Stiles. "Of course not, Stiles." He rubs Stiles buzz again, which almost always makes the boy smile, but today is an almost, and not an always. "I'm gonna be here for you forever. You watch."

"Promise?"

Derek holds out his hand, with his pinky up.

"Promise."

[Now]

"Shit." Stiles chokes out, pulling away from Derek but still seated on his cock.

"What is it? I got wet wipes if there's need for one..."

Stiles laughs a little and wipes his eyes. "You were right." he sniffles.

"About what?" Derek asks.

"The fuck am I gonna do when I have to leave?"

Derek feels his own heart break a little more, and he sighs.

"We'll deal with that when we get there at the end of the week."

They are laying on Derek's bed, reeling from one of the most amazing orgasms that either one has ever had, staring up at the ceiling. Derek has a few glow in the dark stars up there from when he was a kid still, even through they no longer give off any kind of light. Derek thinks back to the fate of the remainders of the set and it sets an image in his mind. Curiosity makes him ask.

"Do you think your mom knew about your crush on me?"

Stiles chuckles softly and shrugs. "She had to have." He turned over and looked at Derek in the grey blue light of the room.

"Every year after that first one, she'd ask me if I was excited to come back to the resort." Stiles grinned at the memory. "And of course I always was. And she would always ask what I was most excited for and I would always say 'Derek', and I think... yeah, she had to have known."

Derek flushed at that.

"And it was true. Every time I came here, I couldn't think of a single thing that I wanted more, than to spend time with you."

Derek grinned. "I always looked forward to it too. Every year around that time I'd feel like, 'Yay, Stiles will be here at some point,', and then boom, there you were."

Stiles turned his head on the bed, and looked up at Derek. He scoots up a bit, and Derek raises his arm, letting Stiles scoot in, surprised when his lover buries his nose in the damp fur, inhaling. Derek chuckles a bit, warning, "I haven't even put on deodorant yet."

"Don't" Stiles mumbles from the sweaty recesses. "I've been alive 22 years and nothing I've ever smelled in my life smells as good as you do to me."

Derek laughs a bit, and Stiles curls his arm around Stiles' back, holding him in a way that is familiar to him, but something he hasn't done in a decade. In no time, they are asleep.

Derek has always wanted to shower with his lovers, but no one seems to want to, with him at least. Twice he'd caught Danny and Jackson in their bungalow shower, and they didn't even have the manners to invite him in to join them. Duke never wanted to, nor did Boyd. Stiles cannot wait for such an opportunity, and once in the shower, he washes Derek with a sense of duty that feels like it's a privilege for the younger man. Derek can't get over it. The idea that someone would love him, care for him, care about him so much so that they would make his happiness their focus.

"You did that for me." Stiles says, pressed against Derek as the warm water cascades over their bodies, washing them clean. "Every single summer, all the time. You tried to do that for me."

Derek doesn't want to think of that just now, but Stiles is right. There was almost no limit to what Derek would do for Stiles. Be it transforming a patio into a campsite, making Stiles feel included and important in everything, trying to make Stiles feel like he was the incredible kid he was even when Stiles didn't feel that way, Derek would move mountains.

Turning off the water, Stiles reaches for the towels and unfolds one, and begins to dry Derek. He starts at the man's feet, blotting against the water, admiring the well formed toes, the legs, Derek's muscular thighs. Derek watches as Stiles looks up at him, worshipfully, and opens his mouth, taking Derek's pride into it, and just holding it in his mouth. Stiles' eyes are closed, and there is a smile on his face, wrapped around Derek, as Stiles begins to pat the towel over Derek's waist, his buttocks, his lower back, and abs. Slowly, Stiles pulls Derek out of his mouth, and dabs little Derek dry. Stiles continues to pat upward, and eventually resting the towel on Derek's shoulders. "You're so amazing." Stiles praises, and Derek dips his head down, still humbled by the praise.

Derek picks Stiles up and carries him to the bed. The afternoon is still cloudy and rainy, and Stiles lays on the bed, Derek next to him and Derek lets his arm come around Stiles' waist, pulling him closer. "Stiles..."

[Then]

"Yeah Big Guy" Stiles responds, as if to ask why would he NOT be comfy. He is laying next to Derek in the hammock on Derek's patio. Derek insists that there isn't room for the both of them in the device, but Stiles is determined to show Derek that physics do not always apply when it comes to one Stiles Stilinski. It takes quite a bit of manuvering, and an awkward angling which includes Derek's arm out of place and Stiles face almost in his armpit, which Derek notices Stiles doesn't seem to be fighting at all, but they eventually fit on the hammock and once they are there, damn it if it isn't comfortable.

"See?" Stiles grins triumphantly. "Dad always says where there's a will, and a stubborn Stiles, there's a way."

Derek laughs, the action shaking the canvas frame. "He says that, does he?"

"A-yup." Stiles says. "Well, I added the 'Stubborn Stiles' part, but it's still pretty true." Stiles says, closing his eyes. The day is extra warm, the kind of warm where laying anywhere for too long sends one into instant shut eye. Derek looks down at the twelve year old curled up next to him, a boy he's grown up with, seen cry, seen laugh, seen angry and joyful, someone who remembered Derek's birthday even when he wasn't even there, and in that moment feels a surge of respect and love for the kid next to him. Despite all the other kids he knows, he knows no one like he knows Stiles.

"Stiles." Derek whispers.

"A-yup." Stiles whispers back.

"I think you're my best friend." Derek says softly.

"I know you're my best friend." Stiles responds with a yawn, curling up into Derek's armpit, his arm crossing Derek's chest. Derek brings his arm down, and wraps it around Stiles' back, and despite the cramped space, or maybe even because of it, falls into a comfortable sleep next to his best friend.

In 24 hours, Stiles will be gone for the next 10 years.

[Now]

"I love you."

The words float between them, and Derek almost wishes that he could pull them back into his mouth because shit....

"I've always loved you." Stiles responds, almost immediately. There's emotion in his voice that Derek isn't sure is happy or sad, and it makes Derek worry, even as Stiles assures him. "I always will." Derek strokes Stiles' hair, and in no time, his lover is sleeping again.

This time the recovery is shorter, and Derek wakes to find Stiles rooting through the fridge. "There's Gatorade on the back of the bottom shelf. Grab me one, babe?" Derek bites his lip, because holy shit did he just really call Stiles "babe"? 

Stiles saunters over from the kitchen, with a sports drink in each hand, and a smirk on his face. "If I'm babe, then can I start calling you Daddy?" 

Derek shakes his head. "Absolutely not, young man." Derek chuckles as Stiles opens his bottle and chugs half the drink down. "Drink up." Stiles gasps. "You left a lot of fluids inside of me, and you need the electrolytes for round 3." 

"Round 3?" Derek smirks. 

"But who's counting." Stiles grins, finishing off his bottle, before going back and filling it with water. 

Derek watches as Stiles walks naked around his bungalow, completely at ease with his body, his nudity. Derek doesn't think he's ever seen anyone so beautiful in his life. Derek finises his drink, and gets up to fill his bottle with water. He pulls back the curtain on the kitchenette window above the sink, and sees that the rain is still going. Shit, they may get out of their usual California drought this year. Derek can see the drops splattering on the tile of his patio. 

He looks over at Stiles, who is checking his phone, with a half smile on his face. "Everything okay?" He asks. Stiles looks up and nods. "Yeah. My dad was just asking where I was." 

"What did you tell him?" Derek smirks. 

"That I was with you. That you had fucked my brains out, and that now it's my turn to give you a go." 

Derek laughs, covering his mouth. "Stiles!" 

Stiles cackles. "I just told him we were hanging out together. It's up to him to figure out what we're doing." He walks over to Derek and wraps his arms around the older man, kissing him. "But, you wouldn't want to make me a liar now, would you?" 

Derek feels Stiles hands reach over and squeeze Derek's plump ass cheeks. "This, after all, is the ass of my dreams." Stiles pecks Derek on the lips, and Derek smiles. 

"Well, I'd hate to think I made you lie to your dad." 

Derek is near tears. Again, his entire concept of sex has been shattered by Stiles. From the moment Stiles lay Derek on the bed, the older man was pretty sure the procedure would be the same. As if three hours of lovemaking with Stiles hadn't taught him, this will be different. Stiles takes the time to prepare Derek, lips, teeth (gently), tongue and fingers all work their way into Derek, causing the hunk to have at least one orgasm before Stiles even gets inside. Derek watches as Stiles gets between Derek's legs, his excitement jutting out from his hips, almost purple with need, leaking clear drops of slick for Derek. Stiles takes Derek's strong, muscled legs, and puts them over his shoulders. Derek feels a moment of unease, because again, none of his lovers have taken him like this. 

"I want to see how beautiful you are, when you take me." Stiles whispers, leaning down to kiss Derek as he enters him, the blunt head parting Derek's lips, and moving inside. Because Stiles was so attentive, to thorough, he glides into Derek effortlessly, as if he's meant to be there. "So beautiful." Stiles sighs, his eyes on Derek. "Thank you for letting me have you, like this." 

"Stiles." Derek groans, feeling Stiles fill him more than any of his lovers before. "Oh god, Stiles." 

"Are you gonna come for me, Der?" Stiles groans lustily. "Are you gonna come on my cock? Do you want me to come inside of you, the way you came inside of me?" 

Derek can no longer form words, so he just nods his head, his hands gripping Stiles' shoulders. "Oh Der, baby, you're so tight, so good. I love the way you take me inside of you." 

Stiles watches Derek attentively, and Derek can sense, can feel that Stiles in committing every moan, every cry, every look to memory. Derek's legs slide down Stiles' sides, and lock around his waist, urging Stiles to pump harder, to go deeper. 

Derek begs for more, his hands twisting in his sheets. Stiles changes his angle a bit, and this lets him pin Derek's wrists to the bed, while his hips piston harder. 

"Yes, yes, oh fucking YES!" Derek cries out. He opens his eyes, watching Stiles, the intensity building on the younger man's face. Beads of sweat are dripping down, one rolls of the gentle slope of Stiles' nose, and Stiles eyes are intense, burning into Derek's and for the rest of his life, Derek knows, there will never be another for him. Not like Stiles. Not ever again.

Stiles leans down, kissing Derek. "Come for me." Stiles says, commands really, and Derek feels Stiles press into him, hitting just that right spot, over and over, until Derek feels his trigger trip, and suddenly he is cumming hard around Stiles, who is buried balls deep in Derek, pulsing away, unloading inside the man of his dreams. 

It's too much for Derek, finally, and he understands Stiles' reaction earlier, as he hides his face in his hands, trying not to cry. Stiles leans down, holding his lover, and comforting him. He knows. 

He knows.

Hours later, a text for Derek comes in from Talia, checking on him. He responds that he's fine, just hanging out and catching up with Stiles, and they won't be going to dinner, cause Derek has stuff at his place. They have been living on Gatorade and coffee, and the lights are still out. Dusk is settling on the beach, and the storm is now petering out. Stiles' naked body is on top of Derek's sheets, his pale skin almost glowing, Stiles lets his fingers trace Derek's muscles in what feels like fascination, exploration, reverence. Derek kisses every part of Stiles' body. They share many of the same kinks, the same fetishes, and over the next couple of hours become very comfortable with each other addressing the other as "Sir", or "Baby boy". 

They also share their pasts, stories of lovers regretted, lovers attentive, loves who scarred them. It makes the rest of the night easier to navigate, knowing what NOT to do, as well as what each other want from the other. 

There's a moment where the storm stops and the clouds break, and they open the curtains to the late late night, and look up at all of the stars twinkling in the perfect dark of the still blacked out resort. They glisten like jewels, and Derek stares up in wonder, wishing he could grab a handful of them to give to Stiles.They fall asleep again, clinging to each other, like they had all day. 

The next morning, Derek finds himself waking from his pillow of Stiles' chest. They are both starving because they've only been having liquids, and liquid protein, and both are ready for breakfast. 

The clock on Derek's DVD player is blinking, which means the power came on sometime in the middle of the night, while they slept curled up in each other's arms. They shower together, being both lovers and goofballs, teasing each other as they get dressed. Derek doesn't ever remember this kind of smile on Stiles' face before, and he feels so proud to be part of the reason it's there. Stiles slips on the clothes he came over in, which have dried off, along with his shoes. Derek offers some of his clothes, and Stiles cocks his eyebrow. 

"Are you really ready to get the parents involved in that conversation?" 

"What?" Derek grins. "Just two buds, swapping clothes. Nothing gay about that." 

Stiles laughs. "It's gay when it's the clothes you just fucked me in this morning." 

Derek chuckles. He opens the door to the bungalow, relieved to see the sunshine breaking through the last of the clouds. The beach feels cleansed, and the day feels new. With Stiles next to him, Derek feels like he could take on the world.


	7. Never Forget You (Always Remember Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sudden events make Derek and Stiles take a difficult look at each other, and after another round of angst and memory, Derek decides to do something he has never done before....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I went from writing my Criterion Collection Award grabbing work, and turned it into 10 things I hate about you, so you'll either love this ending, or you'll hate it, but either way, it's freaking long.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Setlist/Soundtrack for the chapter: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxpZ4PvYrFj1Yex0KNzuDvXECnFgnl7ks
> 
> "California Dreaming" - Queen Latifah  
> "I'm Not In Love" - Tori Amos  
> "We Do What We Can" - Sheryl Crow  
> "Never Forget You" - The Noisettes  
> "Dream A Little Dream" - Cass Elliott  
> "Time After Time" - Cassandra Wilson  
> "Rescue Me" - Madonna  
> "Harvest Moon" - Cassandra Wilson  
> "Summer Rain" - Belinda Carlisle  
> "Secret Garden" - Madonna

Walking into the dining hall, Derek spots his mother sitting at a table, by herself. She is having coffee, and waves them over to her table, rising to greet each of them. She gives Stiles a kiss on the cheek, and gives Derek a hug, asking if they're okay.

"Yeah." Stiles grin is soft, "We spent the whole day hanging out, catching up. Ten years is a long time to cover."

Talia grins at him and nods. "You know Stiles, I was talking it over with Jake, and we decided, well, you and John are welcome to come here, any time you want. No reservation needed, you're family." She pats the table gently emphasizing each syllable of the last sentence.

"Oh, Talia, that's too kind." Stiles shakes his head. "We couldn't."

"You should if you know what's good for you." Cora arrives, carrying plates for her and her mom. "She's been agonizing about it for two days, so don't make her regret it." Cora winks at Stiles in a friendly way, as she sits next to Derek.

"Really, I never want us to lose touch again. When John told me about what happened, how your mom had been sick all those years, but chose not to tell anyone..." Talia's eyes began to water.

Stiles nodded. "I remember that mom never wanted people to know. She said that she'd never know who was genuinely being her friend, or who was just pitying her. My mom hated pity." Stiles shook his head, a soft laugh on his lips.

"If we'd had known that decade ago, we would have gone, paid our respects, but we had no clue."

Stiles nodded. "I don't think mom would have seen you, really. At the end, she didn't want to see anyone. She wanted people to remember her as she was." Stiles cleared his throat. "I'm starving. Want me to bring you a plate?" Stiles asks Derek, and Derek blinks. He understands that Stiles needs a moment, and that moment is a solo one, so he nods. "Surprise me." He says, by way of ordering, and Stiles walks over to the buffet line.

Cora takes a bite of her eggs and chews thoughtfully, looking at Derek and saying nothing. Derek looks back at her, also saying nothing, but slightly raising a brow. He's closer with Cora, since he's closer to Cora's age, so they've been known to have whole conversations with their eyebrows alone.

"Did you guys stay up all night gabbing?" Talia asks, cutting a piece of pancake and dipping it in syrup.

"No, we got to sleep around ten, I think." Derek lied. They'd had sex all day and literally didn't stop til one in the morning. Even now the mere idea of getting hard made his dick ache, but wow had it been worth it. "We'd been talking all day, so we just wore each other out, I guess."

Cora quietly raises a hand, and touches Derek's cheek. He feels like he may be busted any minute, had Stiles and he not spent most of the morning making sure they'd covered all visible marks on each other. But Cora just smiles, her thumb brushing over the dimple in Derek's cheek. Derek remembers how worried she looked when he came into the dining hall the night before, and he suspects now he looks like he's better, happier.

"It's good to see you two back together." Talia smiled. "For a long time there....oh, good," Talia interrupts herself as Laura and Jacob enter the dining hall. "Any emergencies?" She asks her husband, while Laura snatches a piece of bacon from Cora's plate and eats it. "Rude." Cora knits her brows at her sister.

Stiles returns with a tray with two plates, two coffees and two orange juices and sets it in front of Derek. He sits down next to Derek, who immediately shifts a piece of bacon from his plate to Cora's.

"No emergencies, we had moved most of the campers from the hills yesterday, and sometime during the big storm the rest moved away. No one is allowed in the area until the threat of mudslides have passed." Jacob confirms. "Good morning boys." He adds. "Sleep well?"

"Like the dead." Derek nods. eating his waffles and eggs with gusto.

"Because of the storm, the beaches will be closed again today." Talia nods. "Because it rained on our plans last night, we've decided to schedule the luau from last night to this afternoon. It'll be a late lunch, early dinner affair."

The gang nods. "Awesome." Stiles grins around a mouthful of pancakes. "I miss the luaus." There's something a little sad in his voice, and Derek wants to ask, but not with a table full of people.

"It'll be wonderful to have you back at one. I remember the last time we had one, you got..." Jacob stops, and waves the newest arrival to the table, John Stilinski, who is grinning like he just one the lottery.

"I got it!" He cheered at the table. "The board called me and let me know I got the position! I'm going to be the new Sheriff of Beacon Hills!" The table cheered, causing several of the other diners to spin around in surprise of the noise. Stiles hugged his dad, and looked over at Derek. There's that look again.

"So when do you start?" Talia asked, excited.

"Well, I actually have to go back right away. I need to take a new qualification for my gun test, and then there's another couple of classes I have to take, but those are only a day each. If I leave now, I can start the position early as Monday next week!"

John took a piece of sausage off of Stiles' plate, only to have his son snatch it back. "Nope, not if you're training again so soon, you gotta watch your heart." Laura took another strip of bacon off of Cora's plate and handed it to John on a napkin, Cora letting out a noise of exasperation, even as Derek sacrificed another strip from his plate to give back to her.

"So does that mean you're leaving, today?" Derek asked, nervously.

"Well, ideally yes, but I guess it can wait until tomorrow, at least. But no later, not if I want to get started soon."

"Well, we can send Stiles up afterward...he can stay the rest of the week here..." Talia suggested.

"Actually." Stiles said, and Derek's waffles shifted uncomfortably. "I got an email, last night. The Head Start program I applied for accepted me, because they're in need of teachers for the grades I'm aiming for." He looks at everyone, but deliberately avoids Derek's eyes, and Derek knows why.

"I didn't think they'd pick me, cause I applied so late. But, they picked me. In order to get all my ducks in a row, and get to start with them on time, I'd need to leave by tonight."

Derek felt his heart drop into the acid of his stomach, as Stiles announces, "So, I think we're going back."

"Well that's perfect." John said, "We can leave tonight."

The table nods, and Stiles starts to look in Derek's direction, but stops. Derek sees his mom out of the corner of his eye, and he reaches his hand out to Stiles, forcing that "Everything will be alright" smile onto his face.

"That's good, Little Guy." He grits out, patting Stiles' back. "I'm happy for you, I really am." He nods to John and extends his hand. "Congratulations, John. I know you're going to be an amazing Sheriff."

Derek rises up, and excuses himself, while John goes on excitedly about how nice it will be to have Stiles as a teacher in his old home town. Derek feels the tears burning his eyes before he's even out of the dining hall doors.

He makes it to his bungalow, refusing to look back. He doesn't really need anyone to see him fall apart, and so help him if Stiles or his mother is there behind him, he'll fall to pieces one way or the other. Getting inside, Derek closes the door, and leans his back against it. He is furious, and tears are fighting with his rage to see which will win and emerge first. "FUCK!" He growls, deeply, fiercely. They were supposed to have more time. They were always supposed to

[Then]

go to the luau together, and Derek is there alone tonight. Boyd is also there, and he is hanging out with Jackson, and Derek can't bring himself to sit with them. It feels wrong. Just like Stiles not being here for the luau is wrong. It's Stiles' favorite thing and he waits all summer for it. Sometimes they have a school of hula dancers and drummers come in to perform. One year, the beautiful hula girls pulled up some guys from the audience to dance with them, and of course, they pulled Derek up, and he was having a fun, if not completely embarrassing time trying to learn the moves on the fly. He glanced down at Stiles for a moment, and the eleven year old boy had a smile on his face as he watched Derek trying to move gracefully in dance, which was similar to trying to watch a bear scratch itself against a tree.

This year, the Hales have hired some fire dancers, and to Derek's surprise, Danny is one of them. He watches the teen's finely chiseled bronze body wind and twist, a stick a lit at both ends spinning in his hands (Jacob Hale feet away with a fire extinguisher), and creating all sorts of magical images. It's been a whole day since the Stilinskis have left, and Derek still is unable to let that go. To let Stiles go. To let his best friend go

[Now]

knocking on his door. "Der, come on, let me in." Stiles cries out. "I'm sorry."

Derek turns around and opens the door, unaware of how much time has passed, but he can see people starting to set up for the luau.

"Why didn't you tell me last night?" Derek almost shouts at Stiles. He's still too upset.

Stiles shook his head. "Do you think we would have had the night we did if I HAD told you?" Stiles asked. Derek ushers Stiles into the bungalow, because he really doesn't want the world in his business. "Derek, I knew I'd have to tell you, but last night wasn't the time."

"What do you..." Derek starts but stops himself, covering his mouth with his hand. He counts to ten, mentally.

Stiles closes in to Derek, but he steps away, actually steps away and Stiles' face drops. "Der." He whispers.

"Well, then I hope last night was worth it." Derek says, coldly.

"It was worth it." Stiles bites back. "If it wasn't, yeah, I could have told you. I could have let you know, and it would have ended, and we wouldn't have had the rest of it."

Derek feels tears sting his eyes again, and he turns away. "I would do it exactly the same." Stiles says, softly. "To have had the night we had..." Stiles voice cracks, and Derek knows he can't turn around.

"So I guess this means you'll be packing up, and be gone by sundown." Derek folds his hands over his chest, staring out his window.

"I can... I can stay until then, just drive all night." Stiles offers.

"No." Derek shakes his head. "The roads are dangerous going back up. You should have your wits about you."

Stiles nods. "It's just a few hours."

"Five. Six if you take your time. Knowing you, you'll try to drive it in a single shot."

"It won't take me too long to pack. Dad has to just..." Stiles grabs Derek's shoulder and spins him around. "God Dammit fucking look at me!"

[Then]

What did Stiles want? Derek thinks, laying in bed. Boyd has just left, and will be gone tomorrow morning. Derek had asked him to stay the night, but he wouldn't. So now, Derek is alone with his thoughts, and that is not always a great place to be.

Now all he sees is the way that Stiles looked at him before he left, which was nothing like the way Stiles looked at him in the hammock. The way Stiles always looked at him.

Derek was upset cause Stiles didn't say goodbye, Stiles didn't say that he was leaving. If Derek knew Stiles was leaving, he would have delayed his time with Boyd. But no, time with Boyd was important to. Never mind that Derek had all day with Boyd.

Well, he had all day with Stiles. At least, he used to, until Derek started working in earnest at 13, then for two years, Stiles was less and less a priority, even when he was only there two weeks out of the year.

Derek would see him next year. It wasn't such a big deal. And when he saw Stiles next time he'd give him a hug like he always did

[Now]

But this time is different. Derek can't look at Stiles, can't hug him, can't even remember how good last night felt. He's being left again, and he knows this was going to happen, but he thought he had time, this time. There was supposed to be at least 5 more days of Stiles and him, and he wanted to give Stiles that...he wanted it for himself too.

"Please." Stiles begs, leaning into Derek, his arms around him. "Just... I'm sorry." Derek's arms stay down at his sides. They are too heavy to lift. His body weighs a metric ton and nothing works.

"Please." Stiles squeaks. Derek closes his eyes

[Then]

and tears creep down his cheeks because he realizes that the summer is over. Stiles isn't coming. There's no more weeks left, and he graduates this year and he was going to invite the Stilinski's to come and watch him walk, and Stiles would be a little older, and maybe they could talk about feelings because Derek realizes he's a shit bag because he's been having sex for four years now and it's never done good for him, so maybe he can stop Stiles from ruining his life the way that Derek has ruined his own. The ruins include the ghosts of Chris, and Boyd and probably Danny if Derek's track record is anything to go by. Maybe Derek will finally meet someone that will stay, and won't just think of Derek as a hot guy to get off with or on, and maybe he'll stay the night and maybe he'll love Derek and maybe once Derek will get a gift from someone that doesn't feel like something they can take back at the end of the summer or whenever because if he wanted to be alone, he'd be alone but he doesn't want to be alone and the only time he's never felt alone was when he was with Stiles who was supposed to be his best friend but then his best friend had to up and

[Now]

"Go." Derek's voice is hoarse. His pain is choking him and he can't breathe here with Stiles with him, but he's not sure how he'll breathe without Stiles, but he fucking learned how eight or ten fucking years ago and he'll do it the fuck again. "Just go." He repeats.

Stiles pulls back, his eyes full of tears. Derek can see the hitching in Stiles' chest, and his haircut makes Stiles seem 11 again and Derek can't fucking deal so he closes his eyes and feels his tears fall. "Please." He begs Stiles.

He doesn't hear when Stiles leaves the bungalow, he just feels the breeze come in through the door, carrying on it the tang of the ocean's salt and that used to be so soothing to Derek and now it just feels like

[Then]

he's going to die if Stiles doesn't come back because it's the second year he's gone, and Derek knows from experience that if they lapse two years, they lapse a lifetime and Derek doesn't think that he can deal with that.

Derek sits on the pier, thinking of the summers it was so warm that Stiles and he had to hide under the pier and eat ice cream to stay cool. They could have gone and done that anywhere, but this was special. This was theirs. Now, Derek doesn't think he'd fit under there if he tried.

It's September 1, and the last of the guests are leaving. No Stiles. Again. Derek no longer feels the intense sadness he used to, now he's just disappointed. The reservations are coded to protect the guests privacy, in case famous people want to come and remain incognito, and Derek doesn't know any of the coding. Even if he did, what is he going to do, ask Stiles why the fuck he took off without saying shit? What was Derek supposed to be sorry that he was a horny teenager that had a dick and ass in need of attention? That just cause he was fucking someone else meant he didn't have time for Stiles? He'd always had time for Stiles! He fucking babied him, and the kid was almost as old as he was, so who the fuck are you Stiles to

[Now]

get my fucking hopes up like this and then just fucking leave me like I don't fucking matter? Who exactly DO you think you are you asshole? Derek is furious. He can hear the luau going on outside. His mom has already texted him, asking where he was.

Derek glared at his phone. Stiles sent him a text an hour ago saying they were leaving at 3 o'clock. So Stiles would miss the luau. Good. No fucking luau for you, asshole. You'd probably like some of the hula dancers too. Fuck it, I'll dick down one or two of the guys, and maybe even a girl while I'm at it you piece of shit! I'll show you I'm fucking good without you.

Derek spun around, and changed, putting on a thin white tank, which was practically see through, and some shorts that showed every curve and bulge of his assets. He ripped the necklace from his throat and threw it somewhere in the room, and put on a sun hat, before deciding, fuck it, and losing the shirt. If he's going to show off, show the fuck off.

Derek stomps out onto the sand, looking for them. His mirrored sunglasses covered his reddened eyes and he looks just like every other hot California douchebag that walked a So Cal beach, ready to end some gay boy's fantasy.

"Yaaass!" Cora exclaims as Derek walks toward her at the buffet. "Category is, Beach Blanket Boytoy!" Derek laughs, despite his heartache. "It's so good to see you smile again." Cora says, flicking his shoulder. "I swear, I haven't seen you smile that way since before Stiles left. I was worried some one gave you a fun-ectomy. Replaced you with a pod person, something." Cora said stacking a few more plates on the table for the guests.

"Yeah. Time to have some fun." Derek announced. "More fun?" Cora grinned. "I'm shocked either of you were walking this morning." Derek looks at Cora in disbelief. "Come on, Derek." Cora tilted her head. "I love you, and you're my brother, but the fact of the matter is at BEST you can keep up a conversation for about half an hour before you get bored. There's no way you and Stiles spent all day and all night talking. No TV to watch, and no place to go in that storm?" Cora is smiling, but it's not vengeful, it's playful. She fucking with him, he's sure.

"Ha, ha, ha." Derek laughs dryly. "People are able to talk for long periods of time when they haven't...

"Then there's the bite mark on your shoulder." Cora smirked, "which, freaky, but go head big brother." Derek's hand flew immediately to the mark. "Shit." He looked around. "Dammit, get me a lei."

"Too late." Cora snarked back without missing a beat.

Derek growls and heads to a table where there are flower crowns, leis, and even grass skirts, and pulls out three leis, layering them to cover his mark.

"There you go." Talia said, walking up to him. "Get into the spirit, Der."

Derek smiles and he looks around, nervously. "If you're looking for Stiles and John, they already left."

That should not hurt to hear near as much as it does, but shit, it fucking hurts. "Stiles said they weren't leaving until 3."

Talia shrugged. "Stiles looked upset when he said good bye, said that he wanted to make sure he beat traffic going to town."

Derek felt his head spinning.

"I asked him if he wanted to come back anytime, maybe for spring break and he just looked at me funny and said maybe, which didn't seem like him."

Talia cocks a trademarked Hale eyebrow at her son. "Did you two have a fight?"

Derek is sure he's about to shit his pants. "No." He lies instantly. "No, I just... I'll text him."

Derek does not text Stiles.

[Then]

Derek sits in his room, staring at the wall, trying to figure out exactly when his life spiraled out of control.

[Now]

Derek sits in the bar, staring into the bottom of his whiskey glass, trying to figure out why history is repeating.

"I'll give you a hint." Jacob Hale sits next to his son, with a glass of rum. "The answers aren't gonna be down there."

The last few days have been miserable for Derek. He calls out and misses shifts. Others are having to cover for him. Talia has even pulled Danny Mahealani from the reserve pool, and asks if he wants to make some money the next few weeks. Luckily he's up for it, and Derek starts as he comes in one day to find Danny doing his job. So now his family is replacing him. Fucking great.

Derek tilts his glass. "Nonsense. Answers right there." He slurs a bit, having lost track of the drinks. "Says, made is Scottsdale, Arizona."

Jacob laughs, because that was pretty funny, and eases the glass from Derek's hand.

"Did I ever tell you the stupidest thing your mother and I ever fought about?"

Derek arches a brow. "No, but go on."

Jacob smiles. "I quoted 'Star Wars', to her.

Derek laughs, because Stiles fucking loves Star Wars, and that.... is too much to think about right now.

Jacob finishes his drink, and motions to Derek. "Walk with me."

The beach is quiet. The sun is set and the purple sky looks amazing. The waves are almost still, and the moon glitters over the water. Derek feels like he could reach out and touch it.

"We were dating in high school." Jacob begins. "and it was to a pretty serious point in our relationship. Well, she was going to spend summer in Santa Barbara. This is when I was still living in San Diego, near Calexico."

Derek nodded.

"This was the first time your mom ever told me that she loved me." Jacob sighed. "And do you know what I told her?"

"What?" Derek asked.

"I know."

Derek looked puzzled. "Remember?" Jacob nodded, in 'Empire Strikes Back', when Han is about the frozen in carbonite, and Leia tells him 'I love you', cause she doesn't know when she's gonna see him, if ever, again. He just says, 'I know.'"

Jacob nods and Derek forgets about how nerdy his family is at times.

"I thought it was great. Because to me, it was Han saying, "I know you love me, and it's obvious the way I've been helping you, supporting your cause, all that, and I know you love me, and I love you too."

"So why didn't he just say 'I love you' to her?" Derek asked.

"Why didn't I say it to your mother?" Jacob asked, truly dumbfounding his son. "See, Der, people don't always say they love each other, the same way people don't mean to hurt each other. Sometimes we do by what we see, what we learn. We have to learn the other person's love language."

"So then what happened?" Derek asked, desperate to be off the subject.

"I took a drive up to Santa Barbara. 6 hours, No stops. I peed in a Big Gulp cup the whole way. Can't even look at them now." Jacob shook his head. "I drove up to her families house, and I knocked on the door, and said "I love you!"

"And what happened?"

"Your Pop Pop said, 'You must be here for my daughter.'"

Derek laughed. Pop Pop was a riot at times.

"So, he invites me in, and there she is, watching "Return of the Jedi" in the living room. They've just winged Han Solo, and the Stormtroopers have them cornered, and Leia is about to blast the shit out of them and Han looks at her and says 'I love you', and Leia replies, 'I know'."

Jacob looks pleased with himself. "She turns to see me standing there, and says, 'Oh. I get it now.'"

A tear sparkles in Jacob's eye.

"And the point, Dad?" Derek sighs.

Jacob shakes his head. "The point is, just cause you fuck something up doesn't mean you can't go fix it. Just because someone doesn't understand you, doesn't mean they'll never understand you. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you sit there drinking, hoping they'll come back."

"Why didn't you just call her and tell her as much?" Derek asked.

Jacob raised his brows. "Son, in Love, with a capital 'L', actions speak so much louder than a phone call, or text message, or email, ever will."

Derek looks at his father, and feels his throat tighten. They're standing in front of Derek's bunglaow. His lights are on. "Your mother would like a word with you."

The next morning, Derek is driving up the highway. The five freeway in he life giving vein of California, It stretches out from Mexico to Canada, and right now Derek is north of Hollywood, California, on his way north to Beacon Hills, where he should be arriving in 5 more hours. Getting through traffic in Los Angeles is the most nightmarish part of the journey, as the freeway in many areas is constantly under construction, and because just for funsies, the people who planned it out almost a century ago decided that at any given time, 6 lanes in either direction should in fact merge into a hiking trail suitable for a mountain goat. The summer heat is almost unbearable in the city, having lived near or on a beach his whole life. Derek could never understand how people cold live in a concrete jungle.

There is a box sitting in the passenger's seat of Derek's Camaro. The A/C is being pushed to the limit, despite the fact that Derek prefers the cool wind running through his hair. Once the heat dies a bit, and it will, he'll be able to turn it off and roll down the windows.

Derek's phone is plugged into the car's aux, and Derek has taken his own advice, and spent most of the last night, assembling a playlist, to keep him on track, to keep him organized.

To remember.

_"Lying in my bed I hear clock tick, and think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new. Flashback. Warm Nights. Almost left behind. A suitcase, of memories...." ___

__When Stiles asked Derek if he had a song that reminded Derek of Stiles, the older man couldn't think of one. Now, every single song reminded Derek of Stiles._ _

____"Sometimes, you picture me. I'm walking too far ahead.... You're calling to me, I can't hear a word you said...." _____ _

____For better or for worse._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Derek's mom had been in his bungalow, sitting on his couch. She was holding a picture that she had of Derek and her, taken after he was born._ _ _ _

____"You know what happened to me, 25 years ago?" Talia asks him, and continues without Derek's response. "I gave birth to the most beautiful, green-eyed baby boy that was ever born. And you know what I said when they first put you in my arms?"_ _ _ _

____Derek can already feel the tears stabbing his eyes._ _ _ _

____"I said, 'I am going to love you forever, no matter what happens'." Derek smiles, and manages to keep his tears in check._ _ _ _

____"Then fifteen years later, something else happened. I was sitting on the beach with Claudia Stilinski, and her own little boy, and this was, I don't know, a day or so after you met him. Do you know what he said to me?"_ _ _ _

____Derek shook his head. He didn't really want to know._ _ _ _

____"He said, 'Can I marry Derek when I grow up?', and I asked him, 'Stiles, why do you want to marry Derek'?"_ _ _ _

____Derek looked up, unable to keep his tears to himself._ _ _ _

____"And he said, 'Cause I love him.'" Talia paused and smiled. "And I said, 'Well, Stiles, you're still young, what if you fall in love with someone else'?"_ _ _ _

____Derek covered his mouth with his hand, squeezing his eyes shut._ _ _ _

____"And Stiles looked me in the eye and said. 'No. I love him.'" The look on Talia's face is amused, but not mocking. "And then every year after that, I watched. Because boys get crushes on other boys. It's normal, as normal as them having crushes on girls."_ _ _ _

____Derek wipes his eyes, and all he can see is Stiles, looking at him with love in his eyes from the few nights before._ _ _ _

____"And every year, I swear that boy fell more and more in love with you. I didn't think much of it, boys fall in and out of love, but Stiles, he was stuck on you. I saw it in you too, in the way you cared for him, about him."_ _ _ _

____"We never...." Derek shakes his head, and feels his face burn, either embarrassment or shame, he can't tell._ _ _ _

____Talia puts the picture down. "I'm not even going to presume anything about your relationship. Personally, it's not my business." She sighed. "What is my business is your health and well being. I kick myself for not seeing it ten years ago, the way you came apart after Stiles never came back. If I had been a better mother, I might have been... I don't know... I like to think I could have helped. I didn't then. I can now."_ _ _ _

____Talia stands up. "In two days, I've watched you turn back into 'That' Derek, and I will not wait one minute more." Talia hugs Derek, and every bit of resolve is gone. Derek is crying harder than he's ever cried._ _ _ _

____"I know, baby, I know." Talia holds Derek._ _ _ _

____"He's gone mom." Derek sobs. "And I let him go!" Derek wipes his eyes. "I had every chance to make it good between us, and I didn't. I was going to be horrible to him cause I wanted him to hurt like I hurt..."_ _ _ _

____"That's just being in love, Derek." Talia comforted him. "Sometimes you hurt each other, but you will never get to heal unless you address it. I think there's still a part of your heart that's hurt from back then. You gotta go make it right, otherwise you're gonna carry that around forever, and Derek, that gets heavy."_ _ _ _

____Derek watches his mother through bleary eyes. "But I have to be here." Derek gestures. "I mean, I have a responsibility...."_ _ _ _

____Talia grins. "That's why there are people that we can hire to help. I can't hire someone to fix your life. That's on you." She pats his chest, gently. "It's why Danny is here."_ _ _ _

____Derek pauses. Pieces start to fall into place. There's an overnight bag on his bed, and Derek doesn't own one, given that he never goes anywhere._ _ _ _

____"So, the question is," Talia says walking toward the door, "are you going to let something like this keep you apart another ten years or longer, or are you gonna find that boy, and make things right?"_ _ _ _

____Derek looks at his mother, and runs to her, hugging her tightly. "Good boy." She smiles. "Get some rest. Beacon Hills is at least 5 hours from here, and you're gonna hit traffic."_ _ _ _

____Talia pulls out a small card, one side showing a coat of arms on the state crest, and the other side reading "Johnathan N. Stilinski, Deputy" which had been crossed out to read "Sheriff". Underneath was written an address and a phone number._ _ _ _

____ _ _

______"You see that I am hungry, for a life of understanding, and you forgive my angry little hearth when she's demanding..." _____ _ _ _

______Derek hopes that Stiles is forgiving. Understanding would also be a big help._ _ _ _ _ _

________"Stop me from drowning baby, I'll do the rest!" _____ _ _ _ _ _

________3 more hours to go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek heads into the dining hall, and asks Cora if there are any leftovers. Laura gives Cora the meanest side eye that Derek has ever seen his oldest sister deliver. Derek is shocked and amused when Laura hands Cora ten bucks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"And what time are you leaving tomorrow?" Cora asks, as if she already knows. Derek looks from sister to sister. "Probably 7, to beat the summer traffic."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Laura huffs and hands Cora another ten. Derek is again annoyed and amused._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You said 'I love you' first, didn't you?" Cora raises her brows. Derek's jaw drops in shock and even more when Laura groans and hands Cora a twenty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What the Hell is going on with you people?" Derek shouts. "Is everyone invested in all of this?" He waves his hands around, madly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Der, we've been keeping tabs on this since Stiles came back." Laura notes. "It's better than Survivor."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Now if you really want to make me a rich woman." Cora leans in, waving the cash around in front of herself. "Who was the top and who was the bottom?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek snatches the forty dollars from Cora's hands, grabs the box of leftovers, and hollers over his shoulder as he runs out of the kitchen, "We took turns."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hey!" Cora yells after Derek, who waves the cash around. "Gas money, thanks, Cor!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek spends the night in bed, alone, the scent of Stiles surrounding him. Derek's father has come in to wish him luck as well as offer to go up in case there was any trouble._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What kind of trouble?" Derek asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You never know." Jacob nods, knowingly. "Just know that I'll be there if you need me, k?."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek packs a couple of shirts, and a pair of pants, and socks and underwear. At worst, at absolute worst, Stiles rejects him, and Derek has at least a couple of days to kick around up North. At best, he won't need the underwear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Don't put the cart before the horse", he warns himself. Stiles could still say no way. You doing this does not mean you are entitled to him. He does not owe you anything. Derek looks at himself in the mirror._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"No matter what happens, you're still a whole person on your own", he tells his reflection. "You are worthy of love, and when the love is yours comes around, it will stay."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He wishes he felt that with the conviction he announces it to the mirror. So he repeats it, until he does. Little steps. One at a time, Der._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek passes the Beacon Hills city limit sign just after 2 in the afternoon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Oh my love it's you that I dream of, oh my love, since that day, somewhere in my heart I'm dancing with you in the summer rain...." _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek turns on his GPS, and follows the instructions, making lefts and rights, and one U turn, and eventually winds up in front of Stiles' house._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It's a nice two story building, with a front porch, and what looks like a big backyard. No dog or fence, and Derek wonders how peaceful it might be to live in the area. He turns the Camaro off, suddenly terrified of what could happen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He takes a deep breath, and opens his door, then grabs the big box from his passenger seat. Derek walks up to the house, up the front porch stairs, and is trying to figure out how to hold the box and knock when the door opens._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________John Stilinski stands on the other side, and rolls his eyes, and sighs with relief. "Oh thank god you're here." He says, yanking Derek inside. John shouts up the stairs, "Stiles, stop moping around and get your ass down here so you can see your boyfriend."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He turns on Derek, pointing accusingly. "And if you ever DARE to break my son's heart again, I swear on my wife that I will bury you so deep in the ground.... " John growls. "Do you KNOW what that car ride home was like?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek sputters and sets the box down on the nearest table._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Come on Dad, it wasn't that bad." Stiles says, coming down the stairs. His eyes are red, and his nose is crimson._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Not that bad, we almost got run over by a semi!" John shouts. Stiles nodded and looked at Derek. "To be fair, I saved us in time. Obviously."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"John, I offer my deepest apologies..." Derek begins. John shakes his head, grabs Stiles, and sets him in front of Derek. "Start here. I've got a class to be at in an hour."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles stands with his arms folded. Derek licks his lips. "So." Stiles says, "You're here now."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek nods. "I did."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles shrugs. "To apologize, I imagine."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek nods. "And to bring you this." Derek says, opening the box, which contains a red hoodie. "Shit!" Stiles exclaims, "I thought I lost this!" He holds it close to him, gasping. "My mom bought this for me, before she died."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles holds up the old, worn hoodie, purposely bought four sizes too large so Stiles would always fit into it. "Where was it?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"My car." Derek shrugs. "Thought you'd want it back."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles raises an eyebrow. "You could have mailed it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek holds up a finger. "But then, I couldn't have brought you this." He turns to the box, and pulls out 4 large containers. "Seeing as you left before you could enjoy..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Opening the containers, Stiles' eyes light up, because Derek has brought Stiles all his favorite things from the luau. "I thought, you know, you'd like that."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek pulls out a sapphire and violet lei, and hangs it over Stiles' neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles throws himself into Derek's arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I'm sorry." Derek says, kissing the top of Stiles' head. "I am too." Stiles echoes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Can we.... just be us?" Derek says, stroking Stiles back. Stiles nods. "I like for us to be.... us. As is we, us."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Us." Derek agrees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Oh man, that smells amazing." John says coming through the living room, and adjusting his uniform. "Save some of that for me in the fridge. Stiles, I'm taking your noise cancelling headphones."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"For the test?" Stiles asks in Derek's arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"For when I get home." John nods raising his brows. "Derek. There's an application on Stiles' desk for the new open Deputy position."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek raises his brows, and sputters. "Okay."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________John points. "Not too loud Stiles, old lady Stevenson is still recovering from the filth fest she heard 12 years ago."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"It's her fault for listening in," Stiles says, "But, sure. Note taken." Stiles nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Have fun boys." John says, closing the door behind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek looks at Stiles. "So I guess I have his approval?" Stiles nods. "What about you, Stiles." Derek asks. "Do I have your permission?" Stiles nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Come here." Stiles pulls Derek in for a kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Endless summer?" Derek asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Better than a summerblink." Stiles responds, kissing Derek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we come to the end of this summer lovin', and I'm so thankful for those of you who read, commented, left kudos, or reblogged off of Tumblr. 
> 
> If you liked this, take a chance on my other work, and feel free to recommend, just don't repost unless credit to me is cited for this work. 
> 
> Love you guys.


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